Dear L.,
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I hate to argue or have discussions because he’s never clear with me. He also owes me 0 cash because he is behind on rent and bills. What should I do?
But what you really need to understand here is the five W’s, i.e., what type of crypto he bought, where it’s stored, when he purchased it, etc. If he bought into some obscure cryptocurrency, it’s entirely possible that a ,000 “investment” could be worth just ,000 today, though I also wouldn’t rule out the possibility that he took some of that money. You could tell him that you need the information because you’re considering cashing out and deducting some of your losses for tax purposes.
Even if you follow all the advice I’ve just given, it’s important to be realistic. You may never get your money back. But please don’t let that reality stop you from moving on.
Finally, you need a plan for your living situation. I don’t know whether both of your names are on the lease, but even if it’s only in your name, your state may consider him a tenant since he’s been paying some expenses. If you want to stay and you don’t think your boyfriend would leave if you dumped him, you’ll want to consult with an attorney about the process for formally evicting him.
Think about the lessons you can apply to future relationships. Don’t take on debt for a future partner or let them invest money on your behalf. But the takeaways aren’t just financial. Whenever someone responds with “Don’t worry, I love you” to your legitimate concerns, your reflex should be to run. Arguing is healthy in a relationship. So don’t let fear of fighting cause you to ignore the reality that’s staring you dead in the eye.
He lives with me and only pitches in 0 for rent and 0 for bills. The rent is ,000. He says times are hard for him right now and that he can’t get credit cards because he’s denied due to his “low credit score.” Yet I haven’t seen any proof in the form of denial letters. I don’t fully trust him, therefore I haven’t been able to tell him I love him. He tells me every day that he loves me.
Since your boyfriend owes you nearly ,000, I’d ask him to sign a promissory note for your own peace of mind. At least if he’s willing, you’ll have it in writing that he agreed to repay you. If he fails to do so, you can use it as evidence if you sue him. Of course, getting a judgment doesn’t mean you’ll collect on a judgment. If your boyfriend has no income or assets, odds are slim that you’d recoup your money.
My boyfriend of three years now has charged up ,000 on my credit card until finally I put a stop to it. He started a business with a food truck and says he will pay me back and not to worry. Well, he’s only giving me 0 each month, and 0 goes to interest.
You also need to get information about the crypto he bought with your money. And I get your hesitance to ask questions here given that crypto is notoriously confusing and filled with outlandish claims.
Robin Harthill
Manipulative people thrive when others are perpetually confused, so don’t expect clarity from your boyfriend. Listen to your gut instead.
Make sure you remove your boyfriend from any credit accounts if he has authorized user status. Also, ask for a replacement card for each account in case he has your card number stored. You’ll also want to pull each of your credit reports at AnnualCreditReport.com and confirm that he hasn’t racked up additional debt in your name.
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-L. The Penny Hoarder’s Robin Hartill is a Certified Financial Planner and the voice of Dear Penny.
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Robin Hartill is a certified financial planner and a senior writer at The Penny Hoarder. Send your tricky money questions to [email protected].