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Month: March 2021

This $3.5M Apartment Was Once Owned by Filmmaker Nancy Dine, Muse of Famed Artist Jim Dine

March 31, 2021 by Brett Tams

Perched high over Lincoln Center, overlooking the Hudson River, sits a sophisticated modern apartment with a backstory steeped in local art history. It was home to late Academy Award-nominated filmmaker Nancy Dine who, alongside husband Jim Dine, dominated the local arts scene of the early ’60s and were considered the ultimate art-star power couple at […]

The post This $3.5M Apartment Was Once Owned by Filmmaker Nancy Dine, Muse of Famed Artist Jim Dine appeared first on Fancy Pants Homes.

Tagged: All, Amenities, apartment, art, bathroom, bedroom, Bedrooms, brown, building, Career, Celebrity cribs, Clean, condo, Credit, design, designer interiors, dining, Financial Wize, FinancialWize, fire, fitness, floor, food, garage, home, home office, Inspiration, kitchen, layout, Life, living room, Local, lofts and condos, Luxury, market, marriage, modern, new, new york, News, office, outdoor, pool, Residential, restaurants, second, space, steel, storage, Transportation, windows

What to Say When You Don't Know What to Say

March 31, 2021 by Brett Tams

Has someone said something in a meeting that was so offensive it just left you gobsmacked, having no idea what to say? Unfortunately, this probably happened to you in the past day if not the past hour. Maybe the offensive thing was said to you, maybe it was directed at someone else. But either way, you want to say something but don’t know what to say. And your silence robs you of your agency, just a little.

Here are some tips to figuring out what to say next time this happens, as it inevitably will.

1. Name the problem

Bias is “not meaning it.” Bias, often called “unconscious bias,” comes from the part of our mind that jumps to conclusions, usually without our even being aware of it. These conclusions and assumptions aren’t always wrong, but they often are, especially when they reflect stereotypes. We do not have to be the helpless victims of our brains. We can learn to slow down and question our biases.

Prejudice is “meaning it.” Unfortunately, when we do stop to think, we often don’t always come up with the best answer. Sometimes, we rationalize our biases and they harden into prejudices. In other words, we justify our biases rather than challenging their flawed assumptions and stereotypes.

Bullying is “being mean,” the intentional, repeated use of in-group status or power to harm or humiliate others. Sometimes bullying comes with prejudice, but often it’s a more instinctive behavior. There may be no thought or ideology at all behind it. It can be a plan or just an animal instinct to dominate, to coerce.

2. Match the response to the problem

When people’s biases are pointed out to them clearly and compassionately, they usually correct them and apologize.

What’s important is to draw a clear boundary between people’s right to believe whatever they want and their freedom to impose their prejudices on others.

Prejudice, however, is a conscious and ingrained belief. People don’t change their prejudices simply because someone points them out. Holding up a mirror doesn’t help—people like what they see. What’s important is to draw a clear boundary between people’s right to believe whatever they want and their freedom to impose their prejudices on others.

Bullying has to incur real consequences to be stopped. If bullies were swayed by being aware of the harm they are doing to the people they are bullying, they wouldn’t be treating other people badly in the first place. Usually they are trying to hurt someone. Pointing out the pain they are inflicting doesn’t make them stop and may even encourage them to double down.

3. Start with these words

If you think it’s bias, start with the word “I.”

Starting with the word “I” invites the person to consider things from your point of view—why what they said or did seemed biased to you. The easiest “I” statement is the simple factual correction.

For example, early in my career an executive referred to me as a “pretty girl.” An “I” statement might have been “I don’t think you will ever take me seriously when you refer to me as ‘pretty girl.’" Recently, when I was about to go on stage to give a talk, a conference attendee ran up to me and insisted that I fetch him a safety pin. An “I” statement might have been, “I’m the speaker; I think one of the staffers can help you find a safety pin.” A CEO of Asian descent was waiting by the valet station for his car and an employee, making a biased assumption, walked up to him an handed him her keys. He replied, “I think you’ve confused me with the valet. I am your CEO, not your valet; here to serve, but in a different capacity.”

I spent some time, time you won’t have in the moment, editing those two suggestions. An “I” statement doesn’t need to be perfect; doesn’t have to be clever or witty. It can even be clumsy. The point is to say something.

If you think it’s prejudice, start with the word “it.”

One type of “It” statement appeals to common sense: “It is ridiculous not to hire the most qualified candidate because of their hair.” Another references the policies or a code of conduct at your company: For example, “It is a violation of our company policy not to hire someone because of their hair.” The third invokes the law: For example, “It is illegal to refuse to hire someone because of their hair.”

Responding to bias is hard, but it’s much harder to respond when people believe that gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity, socioeconomic background, or any other personal attribute makes someone else incapable or inferior in some way. The reason to confront prejudice is to draw a bright line between that person’s right to believe whatever they want and your right not to have that belief imposed upon you. Using an “It” statement is an effective way to demarcate this boundary.

If you think it’s bullying, start with the word “you.”

When someone is bullying you, the person’s goal is to harm you. Telling the person you are being harmed is just going to result in more bad behavior. Ignoring bullies doesn’t work, either. The only way to stop bullying is to create negative consequences for the person doing the bullying. Only when bullying stops being practical or enjoyable will bullies alter their behavior. When you’re the victim of bullying, or when you’re a bystander and the bully is more powerful than you, you often feel powerless to stop it.

One way to push back is to confront the person with a “you” statement, as in “What’s going on for you here?” or “You need to stop talking to me that way.” A “You” statement is a decisive action, and it can be surprisingly effective in changing the dynamic. That’s because the bully is trying to put you in a submissive role, to demand that you answer the questions to shine a scrutinizing spotlight on you. When you reply with a “You” statement, you are now taking a more active role, asking them to answer the questions, shining a scrutinizing spotlight on them.

What if you’re not sure what is going on?

That’s OK. Trust your instincts. If you respond to a remark as if it’s evidence of prejudice or bullying when it was in fact bias, that’s OK. You can shift to a different statement. Just remember, An “I” statement invites the person to consider your perspective; an “It” statement establishes a clear boundary beyond which the other person should not go. With a “you” statement, you are talking about the bully, not yourself. People can let your statement lie or defend themselves against it, but they are playing defense rather than offense in either case.

Posted in: Financial Planning Tagged: All, Amazon, Asian, car, Career, CEO, Financial Wize, FinancialWize, goal, How To, Law, Learn, Make, More, new, Personal, points, questions, race, safety, stage, tips, trust, will, work

Watch the Holiday Spending If You Plan to Refinance

March 31, 2021 by Brett Tams

Well, believe it or not, the holidays are upon us again. It seems like just yesterday I was cursing the fact that I didn’t have an air conditioner, and now I wish I had a better heater. Go figure. To compound that, I now need to get out (or stay online) and do my holiday [&hellip

The post Watch the Holiday Spending If You Plan to Refinance first appeared on The Truth About Mortgage.

Posted in: Mortgage Tips, Refinance, Renting, Starting A Business Tagged: About Mortgages, All, apr, assets, Bank, big, Blog, Buying, Compound, Credit, Credit Bureaus, credit card, Credit Card Debt, credit cards, credit score, credit utilization, Debt, debt-to-income, equity, Family, Finance, finances, Financial Wize, FinancialWize, getting a mortgage, gifts, Giving, green, holiday, Holidays, home, home equity, interest, interest rate, job, line of credit, loan, Local, low, Make, money, More, Mortgage, mortgage payment, Mortgage Tips, Mortgages, new, new year, News, points, rate, Rates, Refinance, save, shopping, Spending, the new year, will

11 Ways to Build Home Equity

March 31, 2021 by Brett Tams

These days, home equity is booming thanks to rapidly appreciating property values. At last glance, total equity on mortgaged properties exceeded $10 trillion, with more than $6.5 trillion of it tappable, per recent figures from Black Knight. Yes, that’s a “T” not a “B.” But you would of never guessed it less than a decade [&hellip

The post 11 Ways to Build Home Equity first appeared on The Truth About Mortgage.

Posted in: Mortgage Tips, Refinance, Renting Tagged: 15-year, 30-year, 30-year mortgage, All, appliances, ask, ATM, balance, Bank, big, bills, black, Black Knight, build, buyer, buyers, clutter, condo, cost, Credit, Crisis, curb appeal, down payment, equity, expense, Extra Money, Fall, finances, Financial Wize, FinancialWize, financing, flowers, Foreclosures, home, home equity, home inspection, home loan, home offices, home prices, home staging, home value, Homeowner, homeowners, homeownership, homes, house, Housing, housing bubble, housing crisis, How To, inspection, Insurance, interest, interest rate, investment, lighting, line of credit, list, loan, loan modification, Loans, maintenance, Make, market, moderation, money, More, more money, Mortgage, mortgage payment, Mortgage Tips, Mortgages, net worth, new, office, Offices, Original, overpriced homes, paint, plants, principal, programs, property, property values, rate, Refinance, refinance your mortgage, refinancing, Rent, renters, retirement, save, Sell, sellers, selling, smart, smart home, Staging, steel, stock market, survey, versus, walking, will

Forbearances Down 5% Over Past Month: Black Knight

March 31, 2021 by Brett Tams

Active forbearance plans fell again this week, dropping by another 19,000 (-0.7%) from last Tuesday. In total, this puts the number of active plans down by 135,
Posted in: Market News, Roommate Tips Tagged: All, black, Black Knight, Financial Wize, FinancialWize, Forbearance, Forbearances, homeowners, improvement, improvements, More, Mortgages, rate, working

COVID-19-Weary Business Owners Can Win by Adopting the Right Mindset for a Sale

March 31, 2021 by Brett Tams

Your business has survived the pandemic, but it’s taken a toll. Here are some reasons why now may be a good time to sell, and some points to keep in mind to get a good price.

Posted in: First Time Home Buyers, Small Business Tagged: 2021, aid, Amazon, Bank, bankruptcy, Benefits, big, business, buyer, buyers, cars, Choices, Clean, closing, Consumers, Crisis, Deals, electric, equity, Family, Financial Wize, FinancialWize, Franchises, goals, health, house, improvement, Invest, investors, lending, Luxury, Make, markets, model, More, Moving, new, News, Operations, pandemic, points, programs, risk, Sell, sellers, selling, Small Business, trends, upgrades, Video, will

Retirement Options For the Self-Employed

March 31, 2021 by Brett Tams

woman holding laptop

Being your own boss is great. You get flexibility and the ability to pursue the things you care about. But as the boss, you also have to deal with all the administrative and financial details an employer might typically take care of—like choosing the right retirement plan. Though it may require a little more action […]

The post Retirement Options For the Self-Employed appeared first on SoFi.

Posted in: Financial Advisor, Investing Tagged: 2021, 401(k) plan, All, assets, basics, Benefits, Books, Broker, brokerage, business, checklist, cryptocurrency, earnings, Emergency, expensive, Fees, filing jointly, Finance, Financial advice, Financial Wize, FinancialWize, front, goals, How To, How to save for retirement, Income, Invest, Investing, investment, IRA, IRAs, irs, job, lending, Life & Career, LLC, loan, Main, Make, Medical, money, More, most popular, new, offers, party, paycheck, Planning, Popular, Preparing for Retirement, products, questions, rate, Rates, retirement, retirement plan, retirement plans, retirement savings, returns, risk, Roth IRA, rules of thumb, Salary, save, savings, securities, security, self-employed, Self-employment, social security, sofi, spouse, tax, taxes, tips, tools, trading, traditional IRA, under, Vs., wealth, will, work

Family Matters: Affording Care for a Family Member

March 31, 2021 by Brett Tams

Twenty-three year-old Emilie Lima Burke has started to save $20 per day. It’s not for a vacation or her retirement fund. Instead, she’s preparing for the moment she expects she’ll need to take care of her aging dad and all…

Full Story

The post Family Matters: Affording Care for a Family Member appeared first on MintLife Blog.

Posted in: Budgeting, Financial Planning, House Architecture, Money Management, Personal Finance, Taxes Tagged: 2016, affordable, aging parents, aid, All, app, ask, assets, Bank, bank account, beneficiary, Benefits, bills, Budget, Budgeting, budgets, business, california, Career, Children, cost, Credit, credit card, Credit Card Debt, Debt, expensive, Fall, Family, Family Finances, Finance, financial crisis, financial management, Financial Plan, Financial Planning, Financial Wize, FinancialWize, food, health, Health care, Health Insurance, helpful, home, household, How To, Income, Insurance, Interviews, irs, job, jobs, Law, Learn, Life, list, Live, Local, long-term care, Make, Medicaid, Medical, medical bills, medical expenses, Medicare, millennial, Mint, money, Money Management, money talk, More, new, New Jersey, offers, paycheck, Personal, personal finance, portfolio, premium, prescriptions, pressure, Purchase, questions, retirement, retirement plans, retirement savings, save, Saving, savings, security, senior care, Seniors, social security, tax, Tax Tips, taxes, tips, title, Transportation, utilities, VA, vacation, veterans, will, women, work, workers, working

How to Plan a Budget in Under an Hour

March 31, 2021 by Brett Tams

Even if you are vaguely aware of how much you make and spend each month, budgeting can be tedious. However, planning your budget doesn’t have to be complicated. With just a few minutes of your time, you can learn how…

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The post How to Plan a Budget in Under an Hour appeared first on MintLife Blog.

Posted in: Budgeting, Financial Advisor Tagged: 401k, All, app, apple, Apps, ask, Bank, bank account, bank accounts, bills, Budget, Budgeting, budgets, Buy, car, Clothing, Credit, credit card, Debt, deductions, Entertainment, Essentials, expense, expensive, Extra Money, finances, Financial Wize, FinancialWize, gas, goal, goals, groceries, gym, gym membership, How To, Income, Insurance, jobs, Learn, Life, Make, Mint, money, More, organize, Pay Off Debt, paycheck, Personal, pinch pennies, Planning, Rent, Salary, save, Saving, savings, Side Income, Spending, taxes, title, under, will

How Does an Estate Tax Marital Deduction Work?

March 31, 2021 by Brett Tams

Estate planning as an individual is complicated enough, but planning for it in a marriage can create greater difficulties. Working as a unified partnership for your joint estate’s future means that you both will have priorities you want to bring into … Continue reading →

The post How Does an Estate Tax Marital Deduction Work? appeared first on SmartAsset Blog.

Posted in: Estate Planning, Home Repair Tagged: 2021, All, assets, beneficiary, Blog, Children, Credit, death, Entrepreneurs, estate, Estate Planning, estate tax, estate tax marital deduction, Finance, finances, Financial Advisor, Financial Wize, FinancialWize, gifts, Giving, guide, helpful, Income, income tax, Insurance, interest, investment, investments, Life, Local, Main, Make, marital deduction, marriage, Mistakes, More, Planning, priorities, property, protect, rate, Revenue, spouse, tax, taxes, title, trust, trusts, under, will, work, working
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