Have you ever traveled abroad and discovered beautiful, locally made furniture, accessories or art, but had no way to get it back home? The founders of The Citizenry, Carly Nance and Rachel Bentley, decided to combine their love of far away places and beautiful things all while supporting small artisans. Their new line focuses on a new part of the world each season, bringing handcrafted items that represent cultural history and keep ancient techniques alive. The Citiznery’s pieces combine beautiful craftsmanship and elegant design. But most importantly, they also make a positive impact on the communities they work with. I love stumbling upon beautiful pieces that have an equally lovely story behind them!
We were lucky enough to chat with Carly and Rachel. They took us on a narrative journey to Argentina where their super chic leather butterfly chair is designed and handcrafted. To say we are obsessed is an understatement. Here’s their story…
How The Citizenry Was Born
Rachel: The idea really came from our own frustrations trying to find beautifully crafted items for our own homes. We were looking for high quality, handcrafted pieces, from a company serious about social impact and sustainability, at a price that didn’t break the bank.
Carly: We started thinking about the things in our homes that we treasured, and all those items had a story behind them – either the story of the maker or the place where it was from. We wanted to build a brand that celebrates those people and the stories behind the products. We know everyone can’t hop on a plane to Peru or Argentina to go shopping, so we decided to create the next best thing online: the experience of traveling abroad, shopping back alley markets, and accessing the highest quality materials and makers from around the world, at home.
What Influences Design
Carly: Each season we create a new collection inspired by a different corner of the world. We love taking a technique that’s been around for centuries and juxtaposing it with our more modern, minimal style.
Rachel: Working with beautiful, natural materials is also really influential. We pick geographies based on the quality of a particular natural resource. For instance, in Argentina, we work exclusively with the most premium leathers sourced from the rich grasslands of the “pampas” and use vegetable-based tannins to soften and enrich its natural beauty.
The Story Behind the Butterfly Chair
Carly: We went to Argentina to create a statement piece in leather. After spending time in Buenos Aires, we knew we wanted to create our own interpretation of the iconic butterfly chair. Since the design was originally created by two Argentina architects, it seemed only fitting. So we set out to find the best leather workers & chair makers in Buenos Aires. When we met Santiago, the Lead Designer behind the Palermo Leather Workshop, we knew we’d found the perfect partner.
It really is a collaborative design process with our artisan partners. We both bring ideas, pattern and colors to the table to work together to make something we’re all really proud of. It took a year to perfect the copper finish of our butterfly chair – impossible without Santiago’s expertise and commitment – but it’s become one of our absolute favorite pieces in the collection.
Rachel: It’s a small workshop on a quiet, residential street. You enter through this unassuming door to find a workshop with leather working talent like you’ve never seen. The men who craft these chairs are smart, so entertaining, and of course, were models in a previous life. It is Argentina after all! And like all of our partners, they really so become our friends. Any time we go to Argentina we make sure to set aside time for these epic steak dinners, accompanied by more than a few bottles of malbec, at Don Julio’s or La Brigada… just to catch up!
A Favorite Travel Memory
Carly: One of my favorite travel experiences was finding and visiting the Lurin Artisan Cooperative, our weaving partners that create some of my favorite rugs (the Estrellas & Cielo Azul) in the collection. They’re a tiny, incredibly talented group that does everything from start to finish – from picking berries to make the dyes, to hand-spinning the wool and hand-looming these, huge beautiful pieces.
Each rug takes about six weeks to complete. Watching this group execute every detail, you really start to understand why. After spending a day with them, talking about how important it was for them to keep their culture alive through this craft, we knew we had to shine a light on their story and talent.
We could listen to countless hours of storytelling from these two. The people behind these beautifully crafted pieces The Citizenry have collected just makes them that much more special. If you have yet to check out their gorgeous store, head to The Citizenry now. Read more about the quality and details behind each throw, rug and chair, watch videos from their artisan partners and while you’re there, enjoy an exclusive Apartment 34 discount on everything in the shop. Click HERE for exclusive offer!
P.S. We’ve been working with The Citizenry first hand on a very exciting collaboration. Announcement coming very soon!
images c/o The Citizenry
This post is in partnership with The Citizenry. All thoughts and opinions are our own. Thank you for supporting posts that keep Apartment 34’s doors open.
Wedged between two cream-colored apartment complexes on a knoll in South Pasadena is a time warp.
The 180-year-old Adobe Flores is one of the last remaining structures from the time that Southern California was part of Mexico. A small grove of palm trees surrounds a cactus garden in the front. To the side is a flagpole with the American flag above the Mexican flag. Bronze plaques on the porch state that the whitewashed one-story building is on the National Register of Historic Places and is where Mexican Gen. Jose Maria Flores stayed before agreeing to a ceasefire in 1847 during the Mexican-American War.
It’s a private residence now, so all I could do when I visited last Saturday morning was stare at it from the driveway. Then, Felix Gutierrez and Lori Fuller Rusch showed up.
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He’s a retired USC journalism professor; she teaches art history at Cal State L.A. They’re members of the South Pasadena Preservation Foundation. Together, they took me back to a time when grasslands and cattle covered what today is asphalt and cars, and made the argument that July 4 should mean something more to Southern Californians than just Independence Day.
“This was all open space up to the [110] freeway 50 years ago,” Gutierrez said, waving out to the horizon as we stood in the shade of the palm trees. Two cars sat in the driveway. I wondered if we could go inside.
“The last time the residents allowed us inside was 12 years ago,” he said with a shrug.
On this day 175 years ago, the United States and Mexico proclaimed the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, ending the Mexican-American War. The agreement established a new border, which meant the northern half of Mexico became the modern-day American Southwest. It also guaranteed to the Mexicans who stayed “the enjoyment of all the rights of citizens of” their new country.
We all know how that worked out.
American history has long treated the agreement as a bump on the road to Manifest Destiny. Mexico, meanwhile, sees it as one of its most humiliating moments. For Mexican Americans, the treaty is a psychic wound that has never healed, proof that the American government — and gringos, by default — can never be trusted.
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Activists used its broken promises to organize resistance. In 1972, for instance, the Brown Berets occupied Catalina Island for nearly a month, arguing that since the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo didn’t mention it, they were reclaiming the Island of Romance for Mexico.
I’ve always associated grievance with the treaty. Gutierrez and Fuller Rusch wanted me to see it in a completely different context. He came armed with a folder full of clippings and a book about the history of the treaty; she carried an iPad.
“There’s been a lot of focus on the land that was lost” because of the Mexican-American War, Gutierrez said. “But there should be equal emphasis on the people that remained.”
“We [California] are a microcosm of where the world is going to be,” Fuller Rusch added. “Living together is not always harmonious. So we have to learn from each other and respect each other and fight for each other.”
“And that fight” for Mexican Americans, Gutierrez said as he gestured toward the Adobe Flores, “started right here.”
Gutierrez, whose ancestors came to Southern California in the 1840s, grew up with stories of Californio bravery in the face of American empire. The Mexican government had stripped them of heavy artillery, so all the Californios could fight the “Yankees” (Gutierrez’s term, not mine) with were lances, lariats and pistols.
Those invaders initially “got the rear end kicked out of them,” the profe said with a satisfied smile. The Californios won battles through the fall of 1846 in present-day Dominguez Hills, the San Pasqual Valley in San Diego County and the San Gabriel River near Montebello. But American forces, led by men such as Kearney, Fremont and Stockton, whose last names still pepper the California landscape, were marching on Los Angeles with more men and firepower.
Flores and other Californios gathered at an adobe ranch house in Rancho San Pascual, a Mexican land grant that encompassed most of Altadena, Pasadena, South Pasadena and San Marino. Those discussions culminated in the Treaty of Cahuenga, which the Americans and Mexicans signed in modern-day Studio City on Jan. 13, 1847. Decades later, the adobe was named in Flores’ honor.
“Flores told the Americans, ‘If we don’t come to terms, we’ll become guerrilla fighters and flee to the hills,’ ” Gutierrez said. “It’s the only peace treaty in American history dictated by the losing side.”
The armistice allowed Californios to keep their property and promised “equal rights and privileges.” But the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo stripped those guarantees a year and a half later. It’s that loss, Gutierrez said, that we should remember on the Fourth of July, especially since this country has for too long treated Mexican Americans as little better than vassals.
“We [Mexican Americans] have rights as American citizens,” is the Californio message that should still resonate for everyone 175 years later, he said. “We’re just as good as you [Yankees]. Just give us a chance to show it.”
I asked Fuller Rusch what she learned about the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo growing up. “Zero,” she said with a laugh, then added: “It’s one sentence in high school textbooks today. Maybe.”
The profa takes pride in teaching her Latino students about the treaty in classes where she’s “the only gringa in the room. I tell them, ‘Your ancestors are right here, and you should not lose their history, so go find it!’
“The younger they are,” she added, “the less they know — but the quicker they learn.”
Fuller Rusch flipped through photos and paintings of Adobe Flores through the decades: as a ranch house, a boarding house, a tea room, an abandoned mess and finally the gleaming slice of California history it is today. She noted that Anglos were the ones who preserved it instead of demolishing it, like too many buildings of the era. The same family has owned it since 1967, holding it as a rental property.
“Others are able to tell its history,” she said. “This is a model for how to live.”
Tenants from nearby apartment buildings blithely walked past Gutierrez and Fuller Rusch as they gave their mini-lecture. Cars drove past us. The happy shouts of families enjoying a picnic bubbled over from nearby Garfield Park.
Gutierrez posed for a photo in front of the flagpole, with its dual national flags, and cracked, “I’ve been waiting 175 years for this moment.”
Memorial Day is known as a great time to score deals on big-ticket items or to make any smaller purchases that you may have been putting off.
Many retailers will start discounting items the Friday before Memorial Day, so you’ll have a whole weekend to shop. Here are the best deals this year!
What’s Ahead:
Best all-around Memorial Day deals
Walmart – Save up to $1,000 on Samsung TVs; get discounts on patio and garden, toys, clothing, home improvement, pets, beauty, and more.
Amazon – The Memorial Day sale features summer savings deals from outdoor living, cooking, and barware to electronics and beauty.
Macy’s – Get 20%-60% off furniture, rugs, and mattresses, plus a free box spring or adjustable base with a qualifying purchase. Save 20% to 50% off select clothing styles, plus get an extra 20% off kids’ and baby clothes with the offer code CUTE.
JCPenney – The sale features up to 50% off mattresses, 40% off furniture, and up to 50% off home items, plus additional coupons on clothing, jewelry, and portraits.
Target – Save up to 25% on furniture, lighting, and home decor; save up to 20% on bedding and up to 15% on patio furniture, plus get free same-day shipping on orders over $75 through May 31.
Appliances
Find fantastic deals on large and small appliances, from refrigerators and washing machines to Roombas and coffee makers.
Lowe’s – Save up to $500 on qualifying appliances, plusfind Memorial Day deals on everything from small appliances and patio furniture to grills, tools, and home improvement. Get free local delivery on appliances when you spend a minimum of $299.
Best Buy – Save big on major appliances during the Memorial Day sale. Don’t forget to take advantage of the Price Match Guarantee.
Home Depot – Snag appliances up to 30% off, and find discounts on lawn equipment, power tools, home improvement items, and more during theMemorial Day savings event.
Mattresses
May is the best time to buy a new mattress. New models come out in the Spring which makes Memorial Day weekend sales the prime time for a mattress upgrade.
Avocado Green Mattress – Save $100 on green and vegan hybrid mattresses with the code HONOR through June 7.
Birch – Get $200 off, two free Eco-rest pillows, and free delivery with code MEMORIALDAY200.
Casper – Get 15% off mattresses, 10% off everything else, and 50% off final sale items.
Cocoon by Sealy – Save 35% off mattresses, plus free pillows and sheets during its biggest sale ever; the sale ends May 31.
DreamCloud – Get $200 off mattresses, plus $399 worth of accessories included; the sale ends May 30.
Haven – All mattresses are 50% off storewide, plus 30% off accessories.
Helix – Take up to $200 off mattresses, plus receive two free Dream pillows.
Mattress Firm – Take up to $500 off mattresses and receive a free adjustable base on a queen mattress purchase of $699 or more by using the code ELEVATE.
Nectar – Receive free pillows, sheets, and a mattress protector —a $399 value— with a mattress purchase.
Purple – Receiveup to $400 off a mattress, pillow, sheet, and mattress protector bundle.
Puffy – Get $300 off plus two free pillows with every purchase.
Serta – Save up to $1,000 off a mattress and base through June 7.
Tempur Pedic – Save up to $500 off select adjustable mattress sets.
Tuft & Needle – Save up to 20% sitewide through May 31.
Electronics and gaming
Aside from Black Friday, Memorial Day is one of the best times of the year to snag discounts on televisions, computers, smartwatches, games, and other electronic devices.
Dell – Get deals on PCs, laptops, monitors, and more during its summer sale event.
HP – Save up to 47% on select products, plus get limited-time deals daily.
Xbox – Get three months of an Xbox Game Pass subscription for $1.
Best Buy – Snag big-screen 4K TVs starting at $279; save up to $200 on Windows laptops.
Microsoft – Score a variety of discounts on a Surface, save up to $500 on select PCs, or cash in discounts on Xbox accessories.
Furniture, home decor, and improvement
If you’re looking to freshen up your home, now is the time to stock up on home goods, tools, and any remodeling supplies.
Overstock – Overstock’s Memorial Day Blowout Sale features up to 70% off thousands of items, plus free shipping on everything.
Pier 1 – Pier 1’s Memorial Day sale includes up to 50% off rugs, lighting, indoor and outdoor furniture, and home decor. Plus you can bundle a variety of candle fragrances for 15% off.
Wayfair – Snag deals up to 70% off during the Memorial Day clearance.
American Signature Furniture – Up to 20% off and 48 months of promotional financing.
Society6 – Their Memorial Day sale features 40% off wall art, 30% off home decor, and more.
Bed Bath & Beyond –Save up to 25% on outdoor furniture, decor, and kitchen appliances.
Ace Hardware –Discounts on lawn care and equipment, grills, patio furniture, and power tools through May 31.
Costco – Member-only savings include deals on patio furniture, mattresses, appliances, and electronics through June 13. Save an additional $150 when you buy two qualifying items for your home.
Clothing
Spring and summer clothing sales are upon us, and it’s the perfect time to give your closet a refresh. Find winter apparel on clearance and save on spring and summer fashions.
ModCloth –30% off sitewide, plus an extra 50% off sale items.
Nike – Get up to 40% off on markdown items.
Victoria’s Secret – Save 30% to 70% off more than 1,800 styles.
Old Navy –Save up to 50% off storewide with styles as low as $5.
Men’s Wearhouse – Get up to 85% off original prices.
Zappos – Save up to 30% off footwear, clothes, bags, and accessories.
Banana Republic – Receive an additional 50% off sale styles and 30% off regularly priced items.
Bloomingdale’s –Save 60%-70% off some clearance items plus save 30-50% off select clothing styles.
Outdoor
Prepare for a summer of fun by loading up on any outdoor equipment you might need.
Bass Pro Shops – Its outdoor sale runs from May 20 to June 2 and features discounts on tents, fishing gear, yard games, clothing, and camp furniture.
REI – Memorial Day coincides with its big anniversary sale. The deals include 30% off clothing, 50% off Nalgene water bottles, and 25% off select outdoor gear.
How to save more on Memorial Day
According to Consumer Reports, May is the best month to buy air conditioners, freezers, grills, mattresses, strollers, smartwatches, lawn equipment, and other home improvement and decor items.
The deals don’t stop at the Memorial Day sale. Many retailers will offer additional discounts on top of sale prices if you sign up for a rewards program, email updates, or a store credit card. You may also snag a promo if you’re a student or if it’s your first order.
Poke around to see if you can find any promotional offers and pay attention to any pop-up ads so you don’t miss an opportunity to save money on your purchase. Usually, a sales representative will ask you to sign up if you’re physically in a store, but you can ask during checkout if not. Some businesses may not let you combine coupons while others do. Either way, it’s worth a try to rack up savings.
Furthermore, big-name retailers like Best Buy offer a price match guarantee, so shop around to see if you can find a product cheaper elsewhere before you buy it. That way you know you’re getting the best deal around.
Summary
Memorial Day weekend is one of the best times of the year to go shopping. Just about every retailer will offer promotions, and you’ll score the deepest discounts on appliances, mattresses, and seasonal goods. Add more savings to your purchases by signing up for a rewards program or by taking advantage of price match guarantee promotions.
Jump to winners | Jump to methodology Women on their way The 2023 MPA Elite Women awards celebrate 50 of the top female leaders in the mortgage industry across the US. To determine the prestigious list, nominations were submitted for strong contenders, who were then reviewed before the final selection was made. MPA asked the nominees, “What do … [Read more…]
We often paint celebrities as larger-than-life personas. The reality is that stars are like the rest of us: they get just as frustrated or cranky when things don’t go their way. From being grilled by paparazzi to getting overwhelmed by enthusiastic admirers, many famous people have become notorious for exhibiting signs of annoyance toward dedicated supporters who fail to recognize boundaries. We’ve put together a list of 12 major celebrities who appear seriously ticked off in various fan encounters.
1. Doja Cat
One Redditor said, “I feel like Doja Cat seems constantly annoyed by her stans or fans, or at the very least her followers on Twitter. Honestly as a fan of her music (I don’t follow her too closely on soc med anymore because she constantly seems on the verge of breaking and I feel bad for her) I would dislike my fans too if I were her… Do you know of any other celebrities who seem annoyed by their fans? Whether the irritation is deserved or not (because, let’s be honest, some stans are incredibly entitled), I want to read some stuffff.”
2. Ana de Armas
One user posted, “Ana de Armas blocked Ana de Armas Updates on Twitter…”
Another user commented, “Sorry to burst your bubble, but the blue check Ana is just another fan account. The profile says ‘not impersonating, not Ana; this is a fan account.’”
One user shared, “Yeah, tbf, a lot of the fan-run accounts on social media are borderline unhinged. The way they take ownership of a person they idolize and drag down anyone who even hints at negativity towards them is just crazy.”
Another commenter said, “Totally. I have a tiny YouTube channel (6k subscribers) that I haven’t updated in 2 years, but I’m already weirded out by the parasocial relationships that occur at even that level. People being vehemently mean or terrifyingly obsessed and thinking they get me on a level no one else does (offer to fly me out to his country and take me to an event I’ve never expressed interest in). I can’t comprehend extrapolating that to the level of stardom someone like Doja, Ana de Armas, etc. has. And if I were a more conventionally attractive person like they are, I’m sure the lascivious, obsessive fans would f*ck my image of the world a bit. I eye-roll at woe-is-me privileged… celebrities as much as anyone but I think, while most right-minded people manage to be kind or at least civil to strangers, waiters, annoying colleagues etc., that energy would quickly wear down given the chance to be a celebrity for a week.”
3. Phoebe Bridgers
One user shared, “Phoebe Bridgers has publicly spoken about being frustrated with her fans, and I think she has some song lyrics about being annoyed or not really knowing how to interact with fans, which I get. Parasocial relationships are weird, and in that position, I wouldn’t be able to cope with being approached by crying people who think they know me or worship me, but they’re literal strangers to me.”
Another user validated the singer’s decision, “She’s so valid for that. I’m so glad she spoke up about it because her fans were being absolutely unhinged. There’s caring about a celebrity and there’s being a nut who needs to get a grip. If you’re posting hate and harassing your ‘fave’ for days on end (when [she was] on the way to her fathers funeral, mind you) because the man she was with isn’t the one you prefer, you need to get professional help. I think if that happened to me as a celebrity, I would completely stop interacting with my fans outside of releasing my art. and that seems to be what Phoebe has done. she used to post a lot on twitter and she’s clearly done engaging on that level anymore.”
4. Frank Ocean
One Redditor shared, “Can’t believe no one’s mentioned Frank Ocean.”
“The obvious answer.” replied another user.
One user added, “He was in a bad record deal and dropped a lot of music in a short time frame to get out of it. Since then he hasn’t really dropped anything at all… When he does drop new Frank Ocean merch, it takes months to ship or doesn’t ship out at all. He very rarely tours and when he does he’s notorious for canceling at the last minute. I think the last thing he did before Coachella was Primavera in 2017, and he dropped out the day of.
…
Cut to now, Frank Ocean is headlining Coachella. Hundreds, if not thousands, of people bought $600+ wristbands and flew across the country to see Frank. He shows up to his set over an hour late. He hardly sings, at all (but when he did my god did he sound amazing). Then, he does like a 30 min DJ interlude in the middle of his set, where he’s just jumping around mouthing (not even lip syncing) the words to his most popular songs. He then runs into curfew and ends the set by basically saying ‘That’s it, bye’.
He was supposed to perform again on weekend 2. Allegedly ‘hurt his foot’ and had to pull out, screwing over all the fans weekend 2. A lot of fans (myself included) speculate he had no intentions on ever performing the 2nd weekend. He apparently had some huge elaborate stage design that was going to be super cool, but pulled it at the very last minute and basically spiraled from there.”
One user shared, “Strangely he has a lot of fans who still seem to worship him regardless and make excuses for his extremely flaky behaviour. I’ve attended Primavera Sound in Barcelona a number of times, and remember in 2017 when he was a headline act (he was the absolute top billing that day and on the first line of the weekend poster for context). He cancelled on the day of his performance at incredibly short notice and cited ‘production issues’ (clearly not the case). He was a huge draw for many people (not me personally, but I might have watched his set)—arguably some travelled to the festival for his appearance alone, many from outside Spain.
“His fans rather rabidly attacked the festival organisers on social media in the immediate aftermath of the cancellation, and for several weeks after, with many vowing to boycott the festival and never attend again, even though it was entirely Ocean’s own doing. It was bizarre.
“That year was also one of the best and most eclectic editions PS in memory even without him….”
5. Justin Bieber
One user posted, “Justin Bieber—he doesn’t like it when fans take videos or pictures of him, but would rather have a real conversation with them without a fan or paparazzi shoving a camera in his face. His frustration and annoyance is understandable, especially when fans/paparazzi yell rude things about his wife Hailey or ask ridiculous questions about Selena Gomez.”
Another Redditor replied, “He was also heavily [‘admired’] by his adult fans when he was just a tween.”
One user commented, “Yikes, this too. I was around eight or nine when he first got popular and I remember hearing 20 to 30 year olds thirsting over him. Back then I thought it was normal to have adults talk about him this way because he was famous and seemed so ‘grown up’ to me because I was still a kid. Now that I’m a lot older, remembering this makes me cringe.”
Another user added,”Not only that, but there was also PLENTY of 20-30 even 40+ year old men publicly and constantly calling for violence and… threats against him. Like, dude even if you genuinely disliked him, he was a child?…”
6. Adam Driver
One user also shared, “Adam Driver but that is because so many of them do not know how boundaries work. One of them climbed onto the stage and tried to follow him backstage after a performance of Burn This. A bunch of them say horrible things about his wife and/or wish he was with Daisy Ridley.”
Another user replied, “I saw him on the subway, sunglasses on. He noticed that I noticed him for a brief second, and then I looked away and minded my business. It’s weird in NY. Celebrities can blend in a lot easier.”
7. Leonardo DiCaprio
One Redditor commented, “Leonardo DiCaprio. I don’t think he is annoyed/irritated by his fans but he does seem to be over the media part of it and has been for a long time. I think he gave an interview about the craziness of Titanic and he realized that he didn’t want to be THAT famous, where everyone is following you around. He still wears a mask in public and I know celebrities don’t care about COVID that much lol. He takes his acting and his acting career seriously and I noticed he rarely gives interviews anymore. He seems to be aiming for an ‘old school’ actor legacy.”
Another user replied, “He didn’t seem okay with all the attention back in the 90s either.”
One commenter added, “He appears very closed off to the public and media and despite his millions seems down to earth, shy and funny in the interviews and snippets we have seen and is also very talented and seemingly professional at his job; of course we don’t know him personally but his co stars seem to sing his praises. His dating life overshadows everything else atm. We don’t know anything about the relationship itself, there’s barely any photos. All we know is there’s a pattern of dating someone for 5 years from 20-25 which is weird… But there is an air of mystery around Leo and he’s unproblematic otherwise so I can still enjoy him as an actor for now; his PR team are amazing tbh.”
8. Mitski
One user commented, “Mitski. I wouldn’t say she hates her fans but I think she’s annoyed with a particular group of them. She’s very disappointed about the ‘sad girl’ label they stamp on her music. On Twitter, she expressed frustrations about people recording her concerts the whole time instead of being engaged in the performance. In true Twitter fashion, she got a lot backlash for that…smh…”
Another user added, “The recording epidemic is so real, it’s one thing to record your fave parts, it’s another to literally watch the entire show through your phone screen in the first row. I grew up going to punk shows where people didn’t rly record like that because they were too busy moshing and crowdsurfing (and pre TikTok which might make a difference I guess) and now I’m into indie/indie pop and it’s crazyyy the difference.”
9. Joseph Quinn
One Redditor posted, “Joseph Quinn. He definitely has to be irritated by them.”
Another commenter said, “I’ll never understand why people became just so unhinged around him, it must have been wild to go from largely unknown to so famous you need security.”
One user asked, “PLEASE. THIS. I asked it in another thread and I never really got an answer. HOW did he get such an unhinged fanbase? He had a side role on one season of Stranger Things, but the dedication he’s inspired is like Supernatural cast level.”
One Redditor answered, “I think part of it is when TikTok chooses their Boy Of The Month they all hype each other up/one up each other. Look at how much Bo Burnham or Pedro Pascal blew up once TikTok got into them. It builds off its own attention.”
Another user also added, “Stranger things fandom is majority teens/kids/young adults whose brains aren’t fully developed yet and are extremely parasocial with the cast and always have been since the show began. Unfortunately Joseph and the other new cast members are just their latest victims. With Joseph he’s obviously really impressing executives and producers lately with all the recent castings for him so at least he’ll be free of that overall fandom soon. I feel bad for the rest of the cast that are still in the show for another season and have to still deal with the fans, because every year it just seems to get worse.”
10. Robert Pattinson
One user shared, “Robert Pattinson regards Twilight and its fandom with a delicious mixture of disdain and bewilderment.”
Another user added, “As do I.”
One user commented, “I was a huge twihard from 2009-2012 and I remember the fandom trying to make ANY excuse to prove to ourselves that he didn’t hate the movies lmao.”
11. Ian Somerhalder
One Redditor posted, “Ian Somerhalder went through a phase of yelling at fans lol. And I’m pretty sure he never completed things like virtual chats/ video greetings/and autographs he owed fans who paid for a package during some convention.”
One user replied, “True I remember reading on Twitter about fans who bought greetings and he never did them and they still have not gotten refunds and he just kept on making up excuses. Also back in the days I think he canceled an irl fan event last minute and said he had other plans that came up last minute, but it was a lie because he had known for weeks that he couldn’t go and decided to tell the fans last minute and people had already booked flights, hotels etc so that must have sucked for them. He seems to be a bit messy.”
12 Paramore
One Redditor commented, “Paramore. They don’t hate/dislike their fans, but they explore the parasocial relationship in After Laughter. The song ‘Idle Worship’ is about Hayley seeing a fan with a shirt on her face and the immediate disconnect she felt. To have a perfected version of her plastered on shirts I think made her uncomfortable because she doesn’t feel like she can be the person everyone wants her to be. She’s just a normal person. The next song on the album is ‘No Friend’ which is the outro to Idle Worship and features mewithoutYou’s Aaron Weiss. Weiss chronicles the band’s very public hardships and also reads a long email Hayley sent him about Idle Worship. ‘You see a flood-lit form / I see a shirt design / I’m no savior of yours and you’re no friend of mine.’ Chills. Every. Single. Time.”
Do you agree with the list above? Share us your thoughts and leave a comment!
Source: this Reddit thread.
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Some people love shopping for clothes. Not me. I’m the queen of online ordering, but that also means I spend a lot of time boxing items up and mailing them back. It’s hard to know how something will look until you try it on.
Luckily, technology has brought another way to do things.
Stitch Fix and Trunk Club both use personal stylists to curate a box of fashions that you can try on at home. You simply box up the items you don’t want and send them back. You’ll only be charged for what you keep.
But which service is better? Both are alike in many ways, but there are some notable differences, too.
What’s Ahead:
Stitch Fix vs. Trunk Club summary
Both Stitch Fix and Trunk Club offer a fun alternative to the traditional retail shopping experience. You’ll create a style profile and wait for your first box to arrive, at which point you’ll have a limited time to try your items on.
But there are some differences in the way each service operates. Your level of interaction with stylists, the size ranges available, and how you return unused items are just a few.
Features
Stitch Fix
Trunk Club
Styling fee
$20, credited toward your first purchase
$25, credited toward your first purchase; waived for Nordstrom cardholders
Per-item price range
$25-$500
$50-$300
Pieces per box
5
6-10
Sizes available
Women’s XS-3X; men’s XS-3XL; children’s 2T-14
Women’s 0-3X; men’s XS-3XL
Discount for keeping all items
25%
Not offered
Return method
Hand to postal carrier or drop into USPS box
Schedule free FedEx pickup
About Stitch Fix
In 2011, Harvard MBA candidate Katrina Lake came up with an idea. Seeing flaws in the way customers shopped for clothing, Lake wanted to create a personalized shopping experience for clothes shoppers. From that idea, Stitch Fix was born.
Stitch Fix uses a combination of data analytics and personal stylists to send each subscriber a unique selection. When you first sign up, you take a detailed style quiz that helps stylists see your preferences and sizing. There is a $20 styling fee, but the cost is taken off of your first purchase. There’s no subscription required.
Once you’ve taken the quiz, a stylist gets to work curating a selection of clothing for you. The box is sent to your house, at which point you get to try on every piece in the comfort of your home. This is the part I like. No dealing with public fitting rooms or guessing if something will fit, only to get home and have to return it.
Another great thing about Stitch Fix is the return process. You keep the items you like and put the rest in a prepaid return envelope. You can hand the envelope to your postal delivery person or drop it in any USPS mailbox. The stylist and technology will pay attention to the items you kept and adjust the choices for you the next time you order a box.
About Trunk Club
Trunk Club kicked off in 2009 and a few years later, it captured the interest of Nordstrom. The national retailer bought Trunk Club in 2014 for $350 million, rebranding it Nordstrom Trunk Club. Like Stitch Fix, Trunk Club charges an initial styling fee of $25, which is credited toward your first purchase. You can also use a Nordstrom credit or debit card and have the $25 fee waived.
Like Stitch Fix, Trunk Club uses a style quiz to get an idea of your fit and style preferences. A stylist curates a selection of 6 to 10 items, which are shipped to you. What’s great about Trunk Club is that you can preview the items being sent to you before they actually ship. Stitch Fix likes to keep it a “surprise.” Trunk Club gives you 48 hours to make changes or approve the box before it ships.
Once you receive your trunk, you have up to five days to try the items on. Package up the items you don’t want and schedule a free FedEx pickup through the app. No chasing your postal carrier down or driving it to the nearest post office. Your trunk will be picked up at your front door.
Stitch Fix vs. Trunk Club items offered
Stitch Fix
Stitch Fix works with a variety of popular brands for the fashions it offers. Here are some of the participating brands:
Rebecca Minkoff.
TOMS.
Kate Spade.
Free People.
Mavi.
Sperry.
Cole Haan.
City Chic.
Dolce Vita.
Sam Edelman.
Addition Elle.
Stance.
Equipment.
Alice and Olivia.
Theory.
Trunk Club is owned by Nordstrom, so the brands mirror what you’d see in Nordstrom stores. Although Trunk Club doesn’t list included brands online, here are some of the clothing brands found in Nordstrom Stores. This is only a small sampling of a very long list:
St. John Collection.
Burberry.
Fendi.
Oscar de la Renta.
Zimmermann.
Stella McCartney.
Dolce & Gabanna.
Saint Laurent.
Carolina Herrera.
Versace.
Givenchy.
Keep in mind that Nordstrom prices can be on the high side, so you might not have the number of affordable options you’d have with Stitch Fix.
Stitch Fix vs. Trunk Club pricing
Both Stitch Fix and Trunk Club let you order a box whenever you want. You’ll get an initial shipment at signup, but after that, you don’t have to request a box again until you’re ready.
Both services also charge a styling fee for your initial box. The price with Stitch Fix is $20, but that credit will be discounted from your first purchase. If you have a Nordstrom card, you can save on the $25 styling fee, but even if you don’t, the amount will be subtracted from your first purchase.
Then there are the prices of the items themselves.
Stitch Fix’s items start as low as $25, but they can go all the way up to $500. You’ll specify your price preferences when you sign up, and you can adjust that range at any time.
Nordstrom Trunk Club’s prices range from $50 – $300. You’ll be asked during signup what your budget preferences are, and that will drive the items that are chosen for you.
In both cases, you’ll only pay for the items you buy. Shipping is free, both for the items to come to you and for you to return them using the prepaid mailer.
Stitch Fix vs. Trunk Club sizes available
Both Stitch Fix and Trunk Club offer clothing for women and men. Stitch Fix has a special kids line, called Stitch Fix Kids.
Here’s the sizing breakdown for both Stitch Fix and Trunk Club.
Stitch Fix
Trunk Club
Women’s
XS-XXL, 14W-24W, 1X-3X; petite and maternity sizes available
0-16, 00P-12P, 1X-3X, and XS-2L
Men’s
XS-3XL, waist sizes from 28-48, inseams from 28-36; Tall shirts available
XS-3XL; dress shirts 14.5”-20” neck; 32/33”-36/37” sleeve; pants 28”-44” waist and up to 36” inseam
Kids
2T-14
Not available
Stitch Fix vs. Trunk Club clothing management
Perhaps the biggest difference between these two services is how the stylists interact with the customers. Here’s what you need to know about each service.
Stitch Fix
Stitch Fix uses a combination of technology and a professional stylist to make your picks. As you request boxes and choose items from those boxes, the technology learns your preferences and adjusts accordingly.
One downside to Stitch Fix is that you can’t directly contact your stylist. You can only leave notes. You’ll input your requests into a “Fix Request Note,” and it’s the first thing your stylist will check before putting your order together. You can also leave a Fix Request Note for your stylist during checkout. Checkout feedback can state what you liked or didn’t like to give guidance for future boxes.
Stitch Fix also doesn’t assign the same stylist to each customer permanently. But the good news is, you can leave a Fix Note to request the same stylist you had the last time.
Trunk Club
One thing that puts Trunk Club ahead of Stitch Fix is that you can take a look at your stylist’s picks before they ship. If you don’t like something, you can edit it and up the chances that you’ll like more of the items in your box.
Trunk Club also lets you interact with your stylist. You can contact your stylist via direct message through the website or the Trunk Club app.
Best of all, you get the same stylist every time, assuming that stylist remains on the Trunk Club team. This gives a stylist time to learn from your past orders, increasing the chances you’ll get pieces you want to keep.
Stitch Fix vs Trunk Club pros
Stitch Fix pros:
Technology-based styling. With Stitch Fix, you don’t just rely on a stylist’s judgment. Data science is also applied to help track down the best items for you.
Lower-priced items. Prices start as low as $25, which means you could specify you only want items priced between $25 and $50.
Children’s sizes are available. With Stitch Fix Kids, you can have a box curated for your child.
Trunk Club pros:
Edit items before they ship. You’ll boost the odds that you’ll like the items in your box with Trunk Club’s edit option.
Interact with stylist. If you have feedback or special requests for your stylist, send a direct message in the app or through the website.
Free pickup. Once you’ve tried on your items, you can schedule a free FedEx pickup for anything you want to send back.
Stitch Fix vs Trunk Club cons
Stitch Fix cons:
No direct interaction with stylists. You can leave a note for your stylist, but that’s the only interaction available.
Shorter return window. You’ll only get three days to return the items you don’t want, while Trunk Club allows up to five.
No assigned stylist. Unless you specifically request it, Stitch Fix will not give you the same stylist each time.
Trunk Club cons:
Higher prices. Trunk Club shops brands available at Nordstrom, with prices starting at $50.
Stylist discretion only. Unlike Stitch Fix, Trunk Club doesn’t combine data science with stylist judgment, so you’re reliant on the stylist’s interpretation of your personal preferences.
Fewer sizing options. Not only does Trunk Club not offer a children’s box, but there’s also not a maternity option.
Why choose Stitch Fix
More budget-friendly items
Although this can certainly vary, Stitch Fix offers items priced as low as $25. Trunk Club sources from Nordstrom, which can be on the pricey side. You can set a budget preference with either service, but you likely will see more lower-priced items with Stitch Fix.
A wider range of sizes
For petite or pregnant women, Stitch Club is the best choice. Stitch Fix has maternity clothing for each trimester to help with the perfect fit. You’ll also have the option of Stitch Fix Kids, which lets younger family members participate in the fun.
Technology meets style
With Stitch Fix, you don’t just have a stylist looking at your preferences and using expertise to decide what you want. Algorithms also make recommendations, and over time, those algorithms learn your preferences based on what you keep and what you return.
Why choose Trunk Club
Free FedEx pickup
Once you’ve tried on the items and decided whether you want to keep any, you can easily return the items you don’t want. Simply box them up and schedule a free FedEx pickup using the link provided in the email.
Personalized stylist experience
You’ll be assigned a personal stylist who will curate your trunk for you. Over time, this stylist will learn your likes and dislikes. Best of all, you can direct message your stylist with any requests or feedback.
More items per box
Trunk Club offers 6-10 items per trunk. You can also see the items being shipped and edit them before they’re in the mail. This will boost the chances that you’ll receive items you want to keep in each shipment.
Summary
Whether you choose Stitch Fix or Trunk Club, you can’t go wrong. In the end, it’s a matter of personal preference. You can view the items for sale on Nordstrom’s website to get a feel for their fashion offerings. Then review the brands listed on Stitch Fix’s website and choose which of the two best suits your own personal style.
This guest post from Nicole is part of the “reader stories” feature at Get Rich Slowly. Some stories contain general advice; others are examples of how a GRS reader achieved financial success — or failure. These stories feature folks from all levels of financial maturity and with all sorts of incomes. Nicole is an active GRS commenter. She’s also half of the blog Grumpy Rumblings of the Untenured, where she and her partner-in-crime write about personal finance, novels, academia, and cats — among other things.
Four years ago, in November, my husband and I had one car (a tiny Hyundai Accent), a house that was too big, and not enough money to furnish the house. It was our first year with real jobs since leaving graduate school and we hadn’t quite caught up yet, especially with all the unexpected expenses that come when you buy a house. But that’s another story.
On top of that, I was hugely pregnant with our first child. We knew we were going to need a second car once our son was born because, on any given day either one of us could be called to use the car in case of emergency. With no parental leave (FMLA doesn’t cover first-year employees…that’s also another story), we wouldn’t be able to make commuting and baby care work with just one car. At the rate we were saving, we would have enough by January (just in time for our son) to buy a fancy new Honda Civic Hybrid so long as we didn’t bother to furnish any of the empty rooms.
Sidenote: We know and knew that the Hybrid would not pay for itself in gas savings. And, no, we’re only moderately tree-huggers. However, my husband is an engineer and he likes fancy technology. In terms of new vs. used, at the time, new Civic hybrids cost about the same as used Civic hybrids. Plus my economics background suggests that at least for the non-luxury car market, buying a new car is about equivalent to buying a used car once you factor in the probability of getting a lemon. (There’s a really famous paper on it, but that’s the subject of a different post, probably one designed to get 200+ comments at GRS.)
A Catalyst
We weren’t expecting to have to buy a car prior to the birth of our child. We weren’t expecting it in the same way we weren’t expecting an F150 in front of us to make a sudden unexpected stop on a 70 mph highway. Turns out the F150 has much better brakes than the Hyundai Accent. With physics being what it is, we ended up with a crumpled smoking front, and, since we had the minimum insurance we were on our own for repair and rental expenses.
All of a sudden, we were in the market for a car earlier than we had expected. (The F150 drove away completely unscathed.) After a few days in a dreadful rental PT Cruiser, we decided we were ready for a new car right away.
NOT Nicole’s motorcrash — just a stock photo for illustrative purposes…
Learning From Past Mistakes
Our first car-buying experience — several years before — had been miserable. The Hyundai salesman tried every trick in the book to wear down my poor husband and succeeded at adding $300 in additional fees (we got away easy!). They also got us to accept zero for our trade-in, a 5-year-old Accent that drove perfectly well, but needed body work that would cost more than the value of the car to get an inspection sticker.
In their defense, we couldn’t get anybody to take the old car as a donation, so maybe it was worth zero. Happily, my husband didn’t allow them to up-sell him a fancier car, even when they pretended the car he wanted suddenly wasn’t in stock and walked him by the ones with fancy power windows. (As he made to leave, they “found” the missing car.) We wanted to avoid that kind of experience this time.
So, we were prepared. We’d found the Motley Fool car-buying guide, and with a little updating, we were able to use their methodology to our advantage.
Step One: Finding Financing
We couldn’t pay in cash this time without completely liquidating our emergency fund. We debated getting a cheaper car that we could pay cash for, but since we would have the cash in a couple of months, we decided to take out a loan, even for a depreciating asset. Using Edmunds and Kelly Blue Book, we had a general idea of what people were paying for the car we wanted. We decided to finance about $6,000 worth of the car.
Our first stop was at our local credit union to get pre-qualified for a loan. A day after we went in to apply, we found that we’d been qualified for a 5% loan. The same credit union was offering Term Shares (like CDs) for 5.05%, and our online savings account was also offering a little more. (Now it’s hard to remember those days when interest rates were more than 1%!)
If we’d known in advance, we would have financed more of the car! We’d been planning to pay the loan off early, but instead we put the money away in online savings until interest rates dropped below 5%. In the end, the dealership admitted there was no way they could beat that interest rate no matter how good our credit was.
Step Two: Negotiation
The next stop was negotiation. I’m much better at negotiating than my husband is, mainly because it doesn’t give me a stomach ache. But, there’s hard evidence that car dealers offer worse initial deals to woman than they do to men. In fact, women are often advised to just bring a guy with them — even an unrelated one — when car shopping. Luckily, the Motley Fool method allows a way around that.
Using my husband’s junk hotmail account, I impersonated him — with his permission. That Friday, I emailed every Honda dealership within 100 miles. I told them we were in the market for a new 2006 Honda Civic Hybrid, no navigation, and that we were emailing every dealership in the area and were planning on buying one that Saturday from whoever gave us the best deal. Color and other details did not matter. I asked for a walk-away price.
Return emails trickled, then flooded in. Almost all were reluctant to give a price. Most suggested that I give my phone number so they could talk over the phone. I politely emailed back to say I would prefer to keep the transactions via email. Finally someone sent me a price. Jackpot.
With that price, I emailed all of the dealerships that had responded to the first round of emails. I told them I had gotten that offer as a price and could any of them beat it? Yes, many of them could. Some places offered navigation upgrades for more money, to which I politely responded I was only interested in the upgrade if it were the same price as the one I’d quoted. At least one dealership offered me what I wanted for $3,000 less. So I did a third round with the new price. The dealerships in the expensive city two hours away dropped out at that point — they couldn’t beat that price. Several other dealerships offered to match. The offers got closer with each round of negotiation.
If you buy a car Nicole’s way, you don’t have to deal with this…
Step Three: Closing the Deal
Finally, I emailed the local dealership in town and told them the best offer I’d received was in a city an hour-and-a-half away and quite a bit less than what they had offered me. It was worth $50 to me not to have to drive that far on Saturday. Could they give me the lowest price offered plus $50?
The local salesperson countered with how wonderful it is to have a relationship with a local dealership (note: not much of an incentive given its reputation for service). I emailed back saying that if they were willing to take the price I had named, I would buy the car that night instead of Saturday. The salesperson emailed back, “Let me talk to the manager,” as if we were actually negotiating in person.
Eventually, the salesperson agreed, and with the sun setting and ten minutes left before closing time, we shook hands and did a test drive. We came back the next day to finish the paperwork and actually get the car. In all, we spent less than 30 minutes at the dealership. The email negotiation did take most of the day, but I was able to get some work done in between emails, and during that time I was in control, not the dealership. Much more pleasant than our first car-buying experience.
Lessons Learned
Based on that experience, here are my suggestions for buying a new car:
If you’re going to get financing, get it before playing with the dealership. Credit Unions are awesome.
Decide exactly what you want. Put a price item on any potential upgrades you might consider. Do not waiver from that unless they are willing to give you the additional benefits for free. This makes it easier to compare.
When you start emailing dealerships, use a junk email address. Four years and many unsubscribes later, we’re still getting junk mail from various dealerships.
In your emails, ask for the “walk-away price.” Dealerships will try to confuse you with prices that cannot be compared because they will add on different fees. Some of these fees are the same for all dealerships, but some of them are imaginary and dealer-specific. Asking for the walk-away price cuts through the garbage and gives you something you can understand.
Don’t let them get you on the phone. The tricks they try sound much less convincing in email than they do spoken.
Once you get a price, keep pushing for matches until you get tired of emailing or everyone has settled on one price.
Use their tricks against them — tell them you have a specific deadline that they have to meet or they won’t get your sale. It also doesn’t hurt to make them feel like they’re getting a deal.
By the way, we love our Honda Civic Hybrid. I have to admit that after having spent most of my life with the cheapest model Ford or Hyundai, (and a good portion of my childhood in an ancient Volkswagen Beetle with holes rusted through the floor) I felt a little guilty having such a luxurious car. Intellectually, I know there are fancier cars out there, but they’re beyond my ability to imagine.
My husband loved all the fancy electronic gee-gaws even more than he had expected to, though after the initial fascination he started finding them distracting and has since turned them off. I hope that we get many more years out of it and my (repaired) Accent before we have to go through the car-buying process again. But when we do, we’ll be prepared.
Earlier this week, I shared some of the highlights from three years of GRS articles about saving money on food. Brett from The Art of Manliness, who knows that I collect old self-help books, sent me an excerpt from Dio Lewis’s 1872 volume, Our Digestion, or, My Jolly Friend’s Secret. Here Lewis describes his “experiment in cheap living”, during which he spends just 54-1/4 cents for a week of food. This makes for some amusing reading. Enjoy!
It is now Saturday afternoon, and I will tell you in confidence, my dear reader, a little of my personal, private experience during the past week.
On Sunday morning last, I thought I would try for a week the experiment of living cheaply.
Sunday breakfast, hulled Southern corn, with a little milk. My breakfast cost three cents. I took exactly the same thing for dinner. Food for the day, six cents. I never take any supper.
Monday breakfast, two cents’ worth of oatmeal, in the form of porridge, with one cent’s worth of milk. For dinner, two cents’ worth of whole wheat, boiled, with one cent’s worth of milk. Food for Monday, six cents.
Tuesday breakfast, two cents’ worth of beans, with half a cent’s worth of vinegar. For dinner, one quart of rich bean porridge, worth one cent, with four slices of coarse bread, worth two cents. Food for Tuesday, five and a half cents.
Wednesday breakfast, hominy made of Southern corn (perhaps the best of all food for laboring men in hot weather), two cents’ worth, with one cent’s worth of syrup. For a dinner a splendid beef stew, the meat of which cost two cents. A little extravagant, you see. But then, you know, “a short life and a merry one.”
Perhaps you don’t believe that the meat was purchased for two cents? But it was, though. The fact is, that from an ox weighing eight hundred pounds nett you can purchase certain parts weighing about one hundred pounds, for three cents per pound. Two-thirds of a pound made more stew than I could eat. There was really enough for two of us. But then, you know how careless and reckless we Americans are in regard to our table expenses, always getting twice as much as we need.
I must not forget to say that these coarse, cheap portions of the animal are the best for a stew. The very genius of waste seems to have taken possession of me on that fatal day. I poured into my stew all at once, slap-dab, a quarter of a cent’s worth of Leicestershire sauce, and as if to show that it never rains but it pours, I closed that gluttonous scene by devouring a cent’s worth of hominy pudding. Food for Wednesday, eight and a quarter cents.
The gross excess of Wednesday led to a very moderate Thursday breakfast, which consisted of oatmeal porridge and milk, costing about two and a half cents. For dinner, cracked wheat and baked beans, two cents’ worth of each, milk, one cent’s worth. Food for Thursday cost seven and a half cents.
Friday breakfast, Southern hulled corn and milk, costing three cents. For dinner, another of those gormandic surfeits which so disgraced the history of Wednesday. Expenses for the day, eight and a quarter cents.
This morning when I went to the table I said to myself, “What’s the use of this economy?” and I made up my mind that for this day, at least, I would sink all moral restraints, and give up the reins to appetite. I have no apology or defence for what followed.
Saturday breakfast, I began with one cent’s worth of oatmeal porridge, with a teaspoonful of sugar worth a quarter of a cent. Then followed a cent’s worth of cracked wheat, with half a cent’s worth of milk. Then the breakfast closed with two cents’ worth of milk and one cent’s worth of rye and Indian bread. For dinner I ate half a small lobster, which cost three cents, with one cent’s worth of coarse bread and one cent’s worth of hominy salad, and closed with two cents’ worth of cracked wheat and milk. Cost of the day’s food, twelve and three-quarter cents.
In all of these statements only the cost of material is given.
Cost for the week, fifty-four and a quarter cents.
Of course I don’t pretend that everybody can live in this luxurious way. It isn’t everybody that can afford it. I could have lived just as well, so far as health and strength are concerned, on half the money. Besides, on three days I ate too much altogether, and suffered from thirst and dullness. But then I may plead that I work very hard, and really need a good deal more food than idlers. Not only have I written forty odd pages of this book during the week, but I have done a large amount of hard muscular labor.
By the way, I weighed myself at the beginning of the week, and found it was just two hundred and twelve pounds. Since dinner today I weighed again and found that I balanced two hundred and twelve and a half pounds, although it has been a week of warm weather, and I have had unusual demands for exertion of various kinds.
But let me feed a family of ten instead of one person, and I will give them the highest health and strength upon a diet which will cost here in Boston not more than two dollars for the ten persons for a week. Let me transfer my experiment to the Far West, where wheat, corn, oats and beef are so cheap, and the cost of feeding my family of ten would be so ridiculous that I dare not mention it lest you laugh at me.
And so far from my family group being one of ghosts or skeletons, I will engage that they shall be plumper and stronger, healthier and happier, with clearer skins, brighter eyes, sweeter breaths, whiter teeth, and, in addition, that they shall live longer than your Delmonico diners, each of whom spends enough at a single dinner to feed my family of ten for a week. And last, but not least, they shall enjoy their meals vastly more than your Delmonico diners.
A bon vivant is a person who lives well — someone who enjoys the best things in life, especially with regard to food and drink. The stereotypical bon vivant is someone who can afford the best (or has generous friends), but that’s not the only way. You can be a bon vivant on a budget.
What is “the best” anyway? Your own tastes play the biggest role, but the tastes of family and friends have a strong influence. To a lesser extent, so do the tastes of opinion leaders, celebrities, experts, and others — even fictional characters. Because of this, appreciating the finer things in life makes you vulnerable to serious “keeping up with the Joneses” issues.
There are a lot of ways to fight this.
Have Confidence
The best way to enjoy life — the principle tool of anyone who wants to live large on a small budget — is to have the courage to rely on your own sense of style. Figure out what matters to you — and then live that way regardless of what others do.
A willingness to ignore “the Joneses” and go your own way is such a powerful tool that it’s tempting treat that it as a magic wand: Just decide that what you like best is Two-Buck Chuck and take-out from from the dollar menu and your problems are solved.
There are several problems with this, the biggest being that you’re probably lying to yourself about what you really think is the best. Of course, for any particular item the cheapest choice may well be the best (I happen to think a $49 digital watch is a lot better than a $5000 Rolex), but often the truth will be that deep down you think some other option is better.
Another problem with stubbornly relying on your own sense of style is that you’re yanking yourself out of the conversation about what’s best.
“The best” is more than just preferences. It’s also a social construct. It’s a discussion — or rather, many discussions. Those discussions take place in families, between friends, within and among social groups, on the pages of books and on the screens of TV shows, movies, and even video games. (Perhaps more than any place else, they take place in TV commercials. Did you see the one where the men attending the “wine and cheese” party use fake hollowed-out blocks of cheese to smuggle in their beer?)
A bon vivant has confidence in her own sense of style, but she also has the confidence to make use of this swirl of cultural implications both to inform her choices and to express herself.
Seek Knowledge
To my mind, the key characteristic of a bon vivant is having an educated opinion about what is “the best.” The bon vivant doesn’t simply rely on some authority to dictate what’s best (and certainly doesn’t assume that whatever’s most expensive is best). The bon vivant makes up his own mind. However, he also knows that he’s participating in the discussion — which is something that he can use to his advantage:
The bon vivant learns the history and vocabulary of whatever field he’s interested in so that he can be a full participant in the discussion.
The bon vivant makes use of expert opinion — it’s a lot cheaper to read reviews of 100 wines than to buy them.
The bon vivant, because he takes appreciating the finer things seriously, can be the opinion leader that his friends and family look too–even when he makes frugal choices.
Having knowledge lets you make informed choices. But even more important than the knowledge that you already have is engaging in the process of seeking more.
Have Patience
Another key tool for the frugal bon vivant is patience. Some people seem to be in a hurry to choose what’s best and acquire it. This is insane behavior. Both choosing and enjoying are part of the discussion. And, like any discussion, much of the pleasure is in the lingering.
Enjoyment always happens in the moment. A simple meal prepared with fresh ingredients is every bit as enjoyable as a gourmet feast. And of course, good company can make any meal a pleasure.
These principles apply far beyond the world of food and drink — books, tools, shoes, gadgets — every field has its own communities of experts, opinion leaders, and all the people engaged with them in the conversation about what’s best. For some things, you simply want to make a practical choice. For others, you want to choose the best. In the case where choosing the best matters, you probably want to join the conversation.
Enjoy the Conversation
For the bon vivant, it’s all about the conversation. And, as mentioned above, there are a lot of advantages to being in the conversation. You still need the confidence to trust in your own preferences — in fact, you probably need more confidence — but as part of the conversation you’re able to influence other people. (There are few things that will boost your confidence in your own taste more than convincing your social group that your choice is better than some more expensive choice.)
Part of enjoying things — an important part, if you ask me — is appreciating them. It’s all well and good to say, “I don’t know art, but I know what I like,” but the fact is that knowledge of art (or food or drink — or desk chairs, for that matter) can contribute a great deal to appreciation — and appreciation to enjoyment. This is the payoff for learning a bit of the history and vocabulary of all the best things in life.
Engage with others in your search for the best things in life. Take your time. Trust yourself. This is the path of the bon vivant.
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Some say there is nothing like curling up with a good book on a rainy day. I say there is nothing like sitting down and putting on a rainy movie on a rainy day. Thanks to a popular internet forum, here is a list of their favorite films for a perfect rainy day.
1. Shutter Island (2010)
U.S. Marshal Teddy Daniels (Leonardo DiCaprio) and his new partner (Mark Ruffalo) find themselves at Ashecliffe Hospital, a fortress-like insane asylum on a remote, windswept island in Shutter Island. They are there to investigate the disappearance of a woman who drowned her three children.
It mainly occurs during a massive, devastating storm when the power is knocked out. Throughout the story, it progressively worsens, only adding to the intensity and suspense of the film.
2. Se7en (1995)
Se7en follows detective William Somerset (Morgan Freeman) and his new partner, the recently transferred David Mills (Brad Pitt), as they attempt to stop a serial killer before he can complete a series of murders based on the seven deadly sins.
One of the most well-known things about the film is it was always raining. Director David Fincher has since said this was his idea. He wanted the appearance of an oppressive, heavy rain that continues to fall with no end.
3. The Perfect Storm (2000)
Based on a true story, The Perfect Storm follows the courageous men and women who risk their lives daily working on fishing boats and rescue vessels. Their worst fears are realized when confronted by three raging weather fronts that unexpectedly collide to produce the greatest, fiercest storm in modern history.
4. Identity (2003)
The phrase “on a dark and stormy night” is the perfect way to describe this film. Identity occurs during a vicious storm that causes a group of strangers to hole up at a run-down motel. At the same time, a serial killer awaits execution for murdering a group of motel guests. Eventually, the weary travelers begin to be killed off one by one.
5. Twister (1996)
Twister is an epic disaster film that follows a group of amateur but spirited storm chasers trying to deploy a tornado research device during a severe outbreak in Oklahoma. While there is undoubtedly a lot of rain, there is a lot of devastation too. Maybe not be the best choice for anyone who has been through a natural disaster such as a tornado, but still a great watch.
6. The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
The Day After Tomorrow doesn’t just feature rain; it depicts several catastrophic climatic effects following the disruption of the North Atlantic Ocean circulation. First, a series of extreme weather events usher in global cooling and lead to a new ice age.
7. Blade Runner 2049 (2017)
In Blade Runner 2049, 30 years following the events of Blade Runner, bioengineered humans known as replicants are enslaved. It rains for most of the film, and while it might seem like there is no meaning behind it, there is.
Blade Runner 2049 has a glib view of the future in which corporations wreak untold damage to the lives of civilians. This recurring theme is reflected in its constant rain, intended to illustrate the effects of LA’s dangerously high pollution levels.
8. Jurassic Park (1993)
Jurassic Park is set on the fictional island of Isla Nublar. Wealthy businessman John Hammond and a team of genetic scientists have created a wildlife park of de-extinct dinosaurs. As can be expected, this does not go well. During the most intense moments of the film, it is pouring rain.
9. Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)
Bad Times at the El Royale centers on six strangers and an employee at the El Royale, a hotel located along the California–Nevada border, who arrive with dark personal secrets that eventually intersect on a fateful night in the late 1960s. One of the most memorable moments features Chris Hemsworth, who plays Billy Lee, approaching the hotel during an evening rain storm.
10. The Goonies (1985)
In The Goonies, a group of kids who live in the “Goon Docks” neighborhood of Astoria, Oregon, attempt to save their homes from foreclosure.
In doing so, they discover an old treasure map that takes them on an adventure to unearth the long-lost fortune of One-Eyed Willy, a legendary 17th-century pirate. While they end up soaking wet as they run from thieves with bad intentions, they still find the time to be kids.
This thread inspired this post.
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