Christina Hall is a woman of many names. Forget the multiverse, we’re talking multi-monikers.
We first made her acquaintance back in 2013 when she was known as Christina El-Moussa. A decade ago, she likely had aspirations of stardom with the launch of “Flip or Flop” on HGTV, but nothing could have prepared her for the fame—and tabloid headlines—ahead.
Her show with then-husband Tarek El-Moussa became a hit, but their relationship deteriorated. The couple separated in 2016 and divorced in 2017. She quickly rebounded into a relationship with British TV host Ant Anstead and the duo were married in late 2018. The former Mrs. El-Moussa took Ant’s name and became Christina Anstead.
But after just 21 months of marriage and one child, she announced her separation from Anstead. In late 2020, after filing for divorce, she announced that she would be now known as Christina Haack—her maiden name.
Her backtrack to Haack lasted less than two years, when she married real estate agent Joshua Hall in April 2022. Now known as Christina Hall, it’s her fourth name in ten years. It’s been a challenge to keep up with Christina’s switching surnames, but there’s plenty else to learn about this well-known home designer.
Curious about what curveballs you might have missed? Brush up on these surprising facts about this famous house flipper.
1. Her original name is a real mouthful
Christina was born Christina Meursinge Haack and raised in California’s Orange County. She attended a local community college when she realized she’d like to pursue real estate as a career.
2. She originally wanted to be a sports agent
Although she shines in the spotlight, stardom was never a burning desire.
“I never thought about being on TV. I wanted to be a sports agent like Jerry Maguire,” she admits.
An Instagram photo of a young smiling Christina alongside NBA legend Magic Johnson hinted at her future plans.
Yet during college at San Diego State, she opted to get her real estate license instead.
“I got started in real estate at 21,” she says, “which led to selling houses, which led to flipping houses, which led to TV.”
3. She and Tarek El Moussa met working in real estate
Christina began working at a real estate office, which is where she met Tarek El Moussa. She was 22. Things moved quickly for these two.
“The day Tarek and I officially started dating, which was Oct. 9, 2006, we moved in together,” she said in an interview with Good Housekeeping. Talk about a whirlwind romance!
In 2009, the two got married and had two kids, Taylor and Brayden. Seven years later, they separated, but not before making a name and business for themselves as flipping partners.
4. Christina and Tarek started flipping because of the recession
In the late 2000s, the real estate market was hit hard by the recession and the burst of the nationwide real estate bubble.
And because they both worked in the real estate realm, the couple had some hard times. They even had to downsize their own home, going from a house with a $6,000 mortgage to a rental apartment with a roommate.
To make ends meet, Christina and Tarek decided to try their hand at house flipping. The couple bought their first investment property for $115,000, with business partner Pete De Best, and split a $34,000 profit. Not bad for a couple of first-time flippers!
5. ‘Flip or Flop’ began with a borrowed video camera
With their house flipping ventures proving successful, Tarek thought their projects would make a good show. He borrowed a video camera to make a demo. At the time, Christina was seven months pregnant with their daughter, Taylor.
Soon, Pie Town Productions, which produces shows for HGTV, expressed interest in the couple. Their show was named “Flip or Flop,” and 13 episodes were ordered in the first run. The couple were reportedly paid $10,000 each per episode during that first season.
6. One hit show led to another, ‘Christina on the Coast’
Despite the couple’s off-screen drama, “Flip or Flop” became a huge success for HGTV and led to spinoffs for both Tarek and Christina.
El Moussa now tutors novice flippers on “Flipping 101,” while Christina has the home design show, “Christina on the Coast.” Her show premiered in 2019 and is now headed into its fourth season.
7. Her move to Music City inspired yet another spinoff
In early 2021, Christina looked beyond the comforts of her familiar surroundings in California. She plunked down $2.5 million for a modern farmhouse near Nashville. The six-bedroom home sits on 23 acres in Franklin, TN.
It also proved to be the perfect setting for another HGTV spin-off, “Christina in the Country.” The show documents the expansion of her design business in the Nashville area as well as putting down roots in a completely new environment.
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8. Christina has her own flooring line
While Christina is best known for her HGTV shows, she’s also branched out into the wide world of flooring.
Her collection of waterproof vinyl flooring designed to resemble hardwood is available in a variety of colors and styles. She insists vinyl floors can be stylish and said, “I would never sell a product that is not attractive.”
After battling health problems in recent years, Christina went to an alternative medicine center in late 2022. She wanted to get the bottom of her ailments and turned to a quantum biofeedback machine.
The HGTV star reported on Instagram that her test results showed mercury and lead poisoning—a result that she attributed to all the “gross flips” she did in her early career with Tarek.
Prior to her diagnosis, Christina documented her health struggles and her attempt at healing in the 2020 book, “The Wellness Remodel.”
When a couple first get married, the last thing either wants to think about is the inevitable—death.
However, it is a realistic part of the cycle of life.
While it’s not something to dwell on, it is a smart idea to keep in mind that one half of the married couple will die in the future, be it of old age or other unfortunate reasons.
In the case that one half of the couple should die prematurely, a financial catastrophe can occur, especially if the couple has children. The surviving spouse may have trouble supporting the family alone and providing for the children.
And of course, there will be other expenses like house payments, car payments, and other possible debts. For newly married couples, it is a good idea to consider life insurance for married couples.
Having insurance is best to ensure the financial security of the family should a disaster occur.
Life Insurance for Couples
If a couple decided to get life insurance for married couples, both can name each as the beneficiary so that if one dies, then the other will have financial support from the life insurance pay out. In addition, in the unfortunate case that both die and they have children, then the children can be named as the beneficiaries, giving financial security to the children. Having life insurance is the best option if one spouse is a stay at home parent.
If the working spouse dies, then the remaining spouse will probably have trouble finding a job or a means to support the family and themselves. Given the possibilities, even if they are slim, that tragedy can strike a family, it’s always best to be prepared.
While younger couples may not think they need life insurance, getting life insurance for married couples earlier on will mean that the premiums will be much lower, especially if both are in prime health. Younger people are also more likely to be approved for life insurance.
Buy Life Insurance While it’s Cheap
Also, at the early stages in a marriage, the couple will be just beginning to collect expenses, like buying a car or buying a home. It’s better to be prepared in the case that one spouse passes away and the other cannot cover those expenses. Life insurance is not only needed to cover living expenses, but funeral expenses as well. Funerals aren’t cheap at all, and the remaining spouse and family may have trouble affording an appropriate funeral given the price. The insurance can help with the cost of a funeral and other post-death expenses.@media(min-width:0px)#div-gpt-ad-goodfinancialcents_com-banner-1-0-asloadedmax-width:580px!important;max-height:400px!important
Also, the remaining spouse may suffer mentally from death, so they may not be capable of working or earning an income. Life insurance benefits will aid that spouse in that situation.
While no one wants to think of something as grim and solemn as death, it is better to consider the worst for the benefit of the remaining spouse and family. Instead of thinking about getting life insurance in a negative light, think of it a securing a financial future for your family should the event come that you pass away early.
Life Insurance Options for Married Couples
When you start looking for life insurance, there are several different policies and life insurance company options that you can choose from, each of them has its own advantages and disadvantages. It’s important to sit down with your spouse and discuss which one will best for your family.@media(min-width:0px)#div-gpt-ad-goodfinancialcents_com-large-leaderboard-2-0-asloadedmax-width:300px!important;max-height:250px!important
The first two options are the standard life insurance policies, term, and permanent life insurance. A term life insurance policy that is only effective for a pre-determined time, like 10, 20, or 30 years. Once that time is up, the policy is no longer effective, these policies basically have an expiration date. One the set term is over, you’ll have to go through the application process again and purchase another policy.
On the flip side is permanent life insurance, which is exactly what it sounds like. As long as you continue to pay the monthly premiums, these policies are in force. These plans also build cash value, which is useful if you ever need to take out a loan using the cash value.
Aside from traditional life insurance plans, there are also joint life insurance plans. These policies are similar except for they cover two different people under them instead of just one. With joint policies, there are two main types to consider, first-to-die insurance and second-to-die insurance.
First-to-die policies are paid out when the first person in the couple passes away. The payout from the policy automatically goes to the spouse and the policy is no longer effective.
Second-to-die policies are the opposite. These policies are paid out when both people pass away. The money is normally given to the children or another beneficiary to help pay for all of the final expenses like mortgages, funeral costs, and taxes.
How Much Life Insurance Do Married Couples Need?
Now that you know which type of policy you’ll get, you both will have to decide how large of a policy you’re going to buy. You can get a policy as small as $25,000 all the way up to millions of dollars. Obviously, the larger the policy, the more expensive the monthly premiums are going to be. It’s important to find the perfect balance between adequate life insurance coverage and affordable monthly premiums.
The biggest thing to consider when calculating your insurance needs is your debt. If you or your spouse (or both) were to pass away, would your loved ones be left with lies and piles of unexpected debt? Who would pay for the car and the mortgage? It’s important to plan ahead for the terrible things that could happen. After you add up all of your debt, then you have a great starting point for deciding how much life insurance you’ll need.
The other factor you should consider is that number of people that would suffer from losing you and your salary. Do the two of you have children that would struggle to get by? Does one spouse not work and rely solely on the other’s income? Each situation is going to be different, there is no “one size fits all” life insurance plan.
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Cheap Life Insurance for Couples
When you apply for life insurance, the company is going to look at many different things when calculating your monthly premiums. One of the biggest factors is your age. The younger you are, the cheaper your rates are going to be. If you’re looking to save some money, don’t wait to apply for life insurance.
@media(min-width:0px)#div-gpt-ad-goodfinancialcents_com-leader-1-0-asloadedmax-width:728px!important;max-height:90px!importantThe company is also going to look at your health. Do you have any high risk or chronic conditions? Do you exercise regularly? Are you at a healthy weight? All of these are going to impact what type of rating you receive from the company. One of the best things you can do to save money on life insurance is to lose weight and exercise regularly. The healthier you are, the less risk you pose to the insurance company.
After the initial paperwork, the company will send a paramedic to your house to do a medical exam. This medical exam will consist of family history, some health questions, and basic vitals like blood pressure. They will also take a blood sample and urine sample. After this, they will look at all of the factors and give you a rating that will determine how much you pay and if you’re approved.
Whether you’ve decided to move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend, planning a wedding, or recently tied the knot, it’s time to talk about money.
Sexy, huh?
Maybe not. But if you don’t figure out a system for managing money together as a couple and splitting expenses with your spouse/partner fairly, then sexy time is going to be the last thing on either of your minds.
Personal finance is personal, and there are few places that’s more apparent than when it comes to how couples split joint expenses.
So know this: There’s no right or wrong way to split expenses with your partner. The key thing is to actually talk about money with your partner (here’s how).
Once you’ve done that, you can choose one of these common scenarios to split expenses (or make your own):
What’s Ahead:
Separate but equal
Most common, unmarried (and many married) couples keep separate bank accounts and credit cards but split the big household expenses, like rent and utilities, equally. One partner may pay out of pocket for everything and then collect a check from the other, or each partner may pay different bills that can be reconciled once a month.
Here’s a useful spreadsheet that can help you track those joint expenses.
The free-for-all (not recommended)
It may be OK if one person pays the rent while the other person pays the electric, cable and water bills…as long as you track how much each partner is contributing and figure out a way to reconcile it.
Too often, one person will pay a big bill like the rent or mortgage while the other is expected to pick up everything else. Depending on how this shakes out, one partner may end up paying a lot more each month. This may be OK—for example, if one of you earns significantly more—as long as you talk about it and are both OK with the arrangement.
Proportional to income
If one partner earns significantly more than the other, you face a difficult decision:
Should the higher earner pay a larger percent of the monthly expenses?
Again, it’s personal, but here’s a suggestion. If your lifestyle together is modest—that is, it doesn’t strain the income of whoever earns less—a more equal approach might be fine. But if the higher earner has more expensive tastes—for example, she wants to live in a bigger home or dine out more often—then it might be time for her to kick in more than a 50% share.
The dos and don’ts of splitting finances before you’re married
Marriage provides certain legal and financial safeguards for both couples. Obviously, however, many couples are managing a joint budget without being married. So here are some things to watch out for.
DON’T share assets
Do not buy anything together. That goes for houses, cars, and furniture, and especially checking accounts. Yes, you love him or her. But if things go sour, each takes their own.
DON’T share debts
As tempting as it often is, I would recommend that you don’t cosign a loan for your partner.
Whether you stay together or not, if he or she defaults, you either pay up or lose your credit. Cosigners should be family members. End of story.
DO share expenses
Avoid the “free-for-all” approach to budgeting that I mentioned above. Before you move in, decide whether you will share expenses fifty-fifty or proportionately based upon salary. You may consider opening a joint checking account just for paying expenses. This should only be for bills and groceries.
DO plan for the worst
Although unlikely, consider the possibility that one of you could die. You’ll need to choose beneficiaries for everything from insurance policies to retirement plans.
What about health care proxies?
Do you want to be the ones to make health care decisions for each other if you should become incapacitated?
Living together can be an exciting step in any relationship, but follow these steps to protect your finances first. If you don’t, without the legal protection of marriage, you’ll be on your own in more ways than one if things don’t work out.
Read more: How to manage money before marriage with your boyfriend or girlfriend
What about when you are married?
Your financial situation legally changes when you get married.
With few exceptions, there is no longer “mine and yours,” only ours. This is why wealthy people make their betrothed sign prenuptial agreements; it’s a legal way of saying “some of what’s mine is still mine.”
So whether or not you merge bank accounts or keep them separate, understand that marriage merges your money in the eyes of the law. Many couples still keep their own accounts for making small guilt-free purchases or buying gifts, but the more you think of your marital finances as one instead of two, the less problems you’ll have.
Related: How to merge bank accounts after marriage
Summary
Finances for couples, married or not, need to be discussed. It’s best to have a plan in place. A plan can help keep your relationship happy and healthy and lets you spend your time thinking happy thoughts about your significant other instead of being bitter about your finances.
What about you? How do you split expenses with your partner or spouse?
The first stages of sharing a living space can be tricky for any couple. After the initial excitement of moving in together and purchasing matching robes, you might suddenly notice a laundry list of pet peeves your significant other is guilty of. Or perhaps you start spending your days staring at their wall art that you simply despise…
One man, who’s currently staying at his girlfriend’s place, recently detailed on Reddit how much he can’t stand her decor. Now, he’s wondering if he was a jerk for telling her why he won’t invite colleagues over, so below, you can find the full story, as well as a conversation with Dr. Lee Baucom.
This man has been staying with his girlfriend while his apartment is being worked on
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Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual photo)
But apparently her decor is not up to his aesthetic standards, so he refuses to invite anyone over
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Image credits: decordilemma (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately, it’s quite common for couples to quarrel over interior design
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Image credits: Ksenia Chernaya (not the actual photo)
Compromise is crucial in all aspects of a healthy relationship. You and your partner might not see perfectly eye to eye on where you want to live, where you want to spend the holidays, which car you want to purchase, and what to make for dinner, but if you love each other and respect each other enough, you can always come to a decision. However, one topic in particular that seems to have many couples arguing is interior design. In fact, 60% of British couples admit to having fought over it. Thankfully, many of them are willing to bend on the issue though, as 70% say they could sacrifice a room to allow their partner space to decorate to their quirky heart’s desires.
Women do tend to call more of the shots in interior decorating, as 56% say they are completely in charge of their home’s design, compared to only one fifth of men. Men are even 5 times more likely to leave interior design completely up to their partners. But there are also certain items that are more likely to cause quarrels between couples. According to a survey from Mattress Online, when it comes to what the most hated interior features are in the bedroom, 38% of women mention sports memorabilia, while 26% of men can’t stand glam furniture.
Nearly a fifth of men are also bothered by having too many pillows, but both men and women equally agree that wall typography is a no-go. And in the living room, half of all men hate seeing fake plants or fruit, while a third of women don’t want to lay their eyes on any gaming equipment. 56% of people admit that they would consider hiding a piece of their partner’s furniture if they didn’t like it, and 40% say they would put off moving in with someone until they removed an ugly piece of home decor.
“The problem is not just her taste, it is her that is being rejected”
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Image credits: Jack Sparrow (not the actual photo)
So what are you to do when you love your significant other but you’ve considered burning down the apartment just to eliminate that recliner they’ve had since college? To gain more insight on this topic, we reached out to relationship coach and marriage expert Dr. Lee Baucom, who was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. “Our homes and our furnishings — our ‘things’ — are not just representatives of what we like. They are extensions of ourselves. We are attached to our decorations because they are a part of ourselves,” Dr. Baucom noted.
“Don’t like my taste? That is a rejection of me, too, which is why home remodels are often such points of disagreement. And why mixing homes when people move in together, becomes so touchy,” the relationship expert continued. “Who’s ‘self’ gets to stay and who’s ‘self’ is kicked to the curb. In this case, the girlfriend is feeling it. The problem is not just her taste. It is her that is being rejected. It is her that is being seen as immature, not just her furnishings.”
We also asked Dr. Baucom how couples can respect one another’s preferences and create a space that feels at home for both of them. “When a couple moves in together, being aware of both comfort and that the decor is part of the self, can lead to an open discussion about what is important and what is not,” he shared. “If the goal is blending lives together, the question is no longer about ‘your stuff versus my stuff,’ but how do we make it ‘our’ place?”
“He was not willing to be on her side, loving her for her personality, quirks and all”
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Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)
As far as this particular couple, Dr. Baucom says that the OP missed the fact that rejecting the decor was insulting his girlfriend. “He thought it was just stuff. But it was ‘her.’ The interesting thing is he hides behind the ‘first impression’ excuse,” the relationship expert added. “In these gatherings, it is coworkers. They already know him. Also, he has done the same thing as she in the decor. He was seeing it as an extension of himself. It was his girlfriend’s. And at the root, he was not willing to be on her side, loving her for her personality, quirks and all. He was more worried about what people might think of him. He made her stuff all about him.”
“Stuff is never just stuff,” Dr. Baucom added. “We know that about our own ‘important stuff,’ but forget it when we think it is ‘just stuff’ for someone else. Being aware helps us see beneath the surface, to the inner life of other people.”
We would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this man was wrong to feel embarrassed of his girlfriend’s decor? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article discussing similar relationship drama, look no further than right here. And if you’d like to gain more insight or guidance on your own relationship, be sure to visit Dr. Baucom’s site, Save The Marriage, right here!
Readers were quick to side with the girlfriend, reminding the man that adults are allowed to have fun too
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First comes love, then comes marriage, and then comes house hunting?
Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer Americans are increasingly buying homes as they get engaged or married, or form other formalized relationships, and have children, according to a recent report from the LGBTQ+ Real Estate Alliance. The alliance is a national trade group of LGBTQ+ real estate professionals and allies. The report was based on a survey filled out by nearly 400 alliance members in March.
“The LGBTQ+ community’s homeownership journey follows a very traditional cycle,” says Ryan Weyandt, CEO of the alliance. “They start as renters early in their careers and just like everybody else. Relationships, jobs, and advancements in their careers are driving homeownership. Children are also becoming more impactful in buying decisions.”
There are more than 1.2 million same-sex couples in the nation, according to U.S. Census Bureau data included in the report.
More than a third of the surveyed LGBTQ+ first-time buyers, 37.7%, said that a formalized relationship was one of the top three reasons they wanted to become homeowners. For lesbian couples, it was a much stronger motivator, with 58.4% reporting it was one of the main reasons to buy homes.
This is compared with 53.8% of straight survey respondents.
Children were another top reason that members of the LGBTQ+ purchased homes, whether their first or their fourth. It was a motivating factor for nearly 44% of survey respondents. About 29% of LGBTQ+ individuals have children, according to the Williams Institute at the University of California, Los Angeles.
Where LGBTQ+ people want to live
Cities remained the destination of choice for members of the LGBTQ+ community as they’re just beginning their careers, often as renters. Nearly two-thirds of members of the alliance chose to live in an urban area or central part of the city with gay men more likely to pick these destinations than lesbians or straight individuals.
That’s likely because the social and dating scenes of a prospective area are important when they’re choosing a first place to live. Being in a place with a strong LGBTQ+ presence and good nightlife was also important to many younger members of the community.
However, the community isn’t monolithic. Interestingly, nearly a fifth of lesbians started their professional careers in small towns—compared with almost 5% of gay men and about 6% of straight folks.
“The LGBTQ+ community is everywhere,” says Weyandt.
Nearly half of LGBTQ+ folks bought their first homes in urban areas, compared with about a third of straight people. More than 40% purchased in the suburbs, while roughly 10% bought in small towns or rural areas.
When purchasing a home, the social, dating, and nightlife scenes weren’t top considerations. That might be because many buyers are older, in relationships, and more settled down—and they might not be as interested in partying into the wee hours.
“We value so much of the same things as everyone else,” Erin Morrison, alliance member and a Realtor® in Texas, said in a statement. “We want access to good jobs, affordability, to be near our friends and family, have loving relationships and live in welcoming communities.”
LGBTQ+ Americans still face housing discrimination
A record 520-plus anti-LGBTQ+ bills had been introduced in state legislatures as of late May, according to the Human Rights Campaign. Seventy have been enacted.
In the past year, about 29% of LGBTQ+ people said they had experienced housing discrimination or harassment, according to the Center for American Progress. And about a fifth of alliance members say that discrimination against LGBTQ+ homebuyers is on the rise.
“Discrimination and the fear of it are a pervasive problem,” says Weyandt. “Imagine your LGBTQ+ child looking for a home and having to consider so many aspects to the decision that others might not. It’s not only the home, the neighborhood, and the schools they’re looking at. It’s how will they be welcomed? Will they be welcomed? What if they have children? How will the children be received in the neighborhood, in the school district?”
Transgender buyers might have to sign forms with names that do not reflect their gender identities. Sellers might be reluctant to choose LGBTQ+ buyers. And real estate agents, landlords, and leasing agents might discriminate against members of the community.
This is leading many LGBTQ+ Americans to consider moving out of their communities and states. Some are worried about being harassed or bothered by their neighbors because of their sexual orientations or gender identities.
“The hope is this period of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation and rhetoric are just another blip and a barrier to overcome for the community to be fully accepted,” says Weyandt. “The most important thing we have to remember is that LGBTQ+ people are people. And we have to welcome them for who they are.”
One of the biggest wealth transfers in history is about to unfold.
That is, it’s estimated that more than $68 trillion in wealth – involving 45 million households across the U.S. – will be transferred through inheritance in the next 25 years.
Will you be one of them?
If you’re a Millennial or a Gen Zer, chances are you may be in the group of Americans most likely to benefit from this massive transfer.
If so, you’ll need to know how to plan for an anticipated inheritance, even if you’re not sure of the details.
What’s Ahead:
1. Have a rough idea of the amount that you are set to inherit
Though this seems like a simple step, it often isn’t.
Not all parents or grandparents are open about their personal net worth (it’s a generational thing). And asking how much you can expect to inherit – or, if you’ll be inheriting anything at all – can seem presumptuous at best, and greedy at worst.
Some parents and grandparents will be open to this question. Some may even provide the information without you asking. But if that’s not your situation, you’ll need to proceed carefully and delicately.
How do I find out how much I will inherit?
You probably already have an idea of your parents’ approximate net worth, but if you don’t, don’t beat yourself up. After all, it isn’t always that obvious on the surface.
The best way to find out?
Just ask.
If your parents aren’t forthcoming about their finances, you’ll need to step back. That doesn’t mean giving up, however. You can let some time pass, then approach the subject later. Just be sure to frame it in such a way that you’re interested in protecting all they’ve worked so hard to accumulate.
2. Learn what makes up the inheritance
Some estates are very simple, while others can be incredibly complicated. The best scenario is a parent who rents his or her home (no house to sell) and has nearly all wealth sitting in financial assets, like bank and brokerage accounts.
Things get way more complicated when a large share of the estate is held in real estate, and especially investment real estate. More complicated still is business equity.
Collectibles, like jewelry and artwork, can also be problematic. You’ll first need to get a ballpark estimate of the value. But before they can be sold, they may need to be formally appraised.
Just as important, your parents may prefer to pass real estate, business interests, or collectibles to specific individuals. That may or may not include you, which is something you need to know before you plan to inherit them.
3. Know if there are other beneficiaries
This is as delicate an issue as requesting the value of your parents’ estate. If you are the sole beneficiary, it’s a non-problem. But if there are siblings, or others your parents may want to distribute assets to, the waters can get a bit muddy.
In a perfect world, your parents will set up an equal distribution for you and your siblings. But real life isn’t always so simple.
For reasons known or unknown to you, your parents may choose unequal distributions. This can be due to family politics, like one sibling being favored over the others, or one sibling being closer to your parents than others. In some situations, parents may choose to give a larger share to a child who provides for their direct care in their later years.
There may still be other situations where your parents want to make special provisions for one of your siblings or even a grandchild.
Yes, it can get worse!
But those aren’t even the most complicated beneficiary situations.
Given that divorce is common, and often involves a second set of children, there may be issues and limitations.
In some extreme situations, parents may disown one or more children, and exclude them from the inheritance. If that might be you, you’ll need to know.
Finally, complicated family situations can result in probate. That’s where the estate has to go before a judge prior to distribution. This can happen because of the nature of the family situation, or because one or more potential beneficiaries (or even an excluded party) challenge the distribution of the estate proceeds.
If that situation seems likely, it’s one that should be discussed with your parents. They may need to set up a trust to ensure each beneficiary gets the intended distribution so the estate can avoid probate.
4. Understand the intended distribution process
This primarily has to do with the timing of inheritance distributions. While the conventional distribution method is to distribute all beneficiary shares on a common date when the estate is settled, that’s not always the case.
Parents sometimes arrange to have estate assets distributed gradually.
For example: if one or more beneficiaries is considered to be irresponsible with money, the parents may set up a staggered distribution over a period of several years.
A staggered distribution is often accomplished through a trust. If your parents have set up a trust, either for part or all of the estate, you’ll need to know of its existence, as well as the intended distribution.
Some trusts are even more specific
For example, they may include provisions that will distribute funds based on certain milestones. Common examples include holding distributions until the beneficiary turns 30 (or some other age), or gets married (or divorced, if the marriage is shaky).
Trusts can be amazingly specific, which is why people set them up. That’s also why you’ll need to know any distribution method that will be used.
Some estates may also have provisions to make staggered distributions based on asset types.
For example: cash-type assets may be distributed early in the estate process. But real estate and business interests may not be distributed until they have been liquidated.
5. Estimate your personal finances at the anticipated time the inheritance happen
A big part of how you handle an inheritance will be determined by your own financial situation.
If you already have a sizable personal estate, you may be able to simply fold the inheritance into your existing plan. But if your finances are limited, you may need to be more intentional and figure out what you’re going to do with the inheritance when it arrives (ya know, so you don’t blow it all on a bright red Mustang).
The point is, only when you have a clear picture of your own finances can you make the best use of an inheritance. And to get the greatest benefit, it can help to improve your finances before you receive the money. The better positioned you will be when the inheritance comes in, the more flexibility you’ll have in choosing where to allocate the money.
If you’ve not been investing up to this point, you may want to begin before the inheritance comes in. It’s best to get investment experience with a small amount of money, so you don’t risk losing your windfall through poor investment choices.
Read more: Best Investment Accounts For Young Investors
6. Design a plan (aka what to do with the inheritance)
If you already have your own personal financial plan, planning for an inheritance will be much easier. But even if you do, you should have at least a loose plan for what to do with the new money. The worst choice is holding off until the inheritance is received. Without a solid plan, you may quickly draw down the new money, financing a series of wants.
Having a plan for the inheritance will ensure the money will provide for a better future. To learn how to set up a financial plan, check out our article: What Is A Financial Plan And Why Do You Need One?
Decide what your priorities are
The main purpose of a plan is to set up a series of priorities.
For example: if your retirement planning isn’t where you want to be, you can make it a priority to fix that with the inheritance. You can either use the new money to enable you to make larger retirement plan contributions or plan to set up an annuity specifically for retirement.
Take advantage of annuities
One of the advantages ofannuitiesis that they can be used to shore up an adequate retirement plan.
Read more: What Is An Annuity And Should You Consider One?
The investment earnings on annuities accumulate on a tax-deferred basis, like retirement plans. But the major advantage is that there are no limits to your contributions. You can make a single, large lump sum contribution to an annuity and let it grow tax-free until retirement. You can set a date that distributions will begin, which can even cover the rest of your life.
In addition, Dr. Guy Baker, CFP and founder of Wealth Teams Alliance, also points out:
“Annuities are a fixed-income alternative. The opportunity to get a market return with no downside risk can be dramatically better than the income from an investment-grade bond of comparable risk. The amount to put into an annuity should coordinate with the age of the beneficiary and the investment objectives. In general, an indexed annuity can provide significant benefits for no additional risk.”
However, since annuities are complicated instruments themselves, you’ll need time to do research and evaluate the best one to take. That’s best done in advance of receiving an inheritance.
Consider starting your own business
In a different direction, maybe you’ve been dreaming of starting your own business. If you lack the capital to do that up to this point, the inheritance can make it happen.
In the meantime, you can make preliminary plans for the business, andeven get it up and running as a side hustle. When the inheritance arrives, you’ll have an established business to grow, rather than starting a new one from the ground up.
Starting a business is always risky, though, so make sure you carefully consider such a big move if/when you do receive an inheritance.
Read more: How To Start Your Own Business – A Complete Step-By-Step Guide
7. Find out if there will be tax consequences
You’ve undoubtedly heard the saying,
“the only things certain in life are death and taxes.”
Well, guess what? Sometimes the two happen at the same time.
Officially, they’re called inheritance taxes. Because estates can contain a lot of money, governments view them as rich revenue sources. Just like they tax your income, your home, your utility bills, and even your purchases, there are taxes designed to snatch a part of an inheritance before you receive it.
There’s good news and bad news here.
Let’s start with the good news…
There is a federal inheritance tax, but the good news is that it only applies to very large estates.
Under current IRS regulations, estates that transfer from one spouse to another are generally tax exempt. But even when they pass to other beneficiaries, like children and grandchildren, there’s a federal estate tax exemption of $11.7 million, for 2021.
That means if the total value of the estate (before distribution) doesn’t exceed $11.7 million, there’ll be no federal tax on the inheritance.
Now for the bad news…
18 states impose some type of state-level inheritance tax. And while some of those states match the federal estate exemption, there are no fewer than 13 with lower exemptions.
On the low-end, Massachusetts and Oregon can tax estates as low as $1 million. Rhode Island sets the threshold at $1,595,156.
Not many Americans have a net worth of over $11.7 million. But there are many millions with estates of $1 million or more. Even if you’re not affected by the federal estate tax, you may be subject to it at the state level.
If any of the estate tax thresholds may apply in your situation, whether at the state or federal level, you’ll need to be prepared for this outcome.
So make sure you estimate for a lower inheritance
The best strategy is to estimate a lower inheritance, based on applicable estate tax rates. Fortunately, the estate will pay the inheritance tax before the money is distributed. But you still need to be prepared for a lower distribution amount.
If your parents are open about your inheritance, you may even be able to discuss the tax consequences with them. That way they’ll be in a position to take action to minimize them before the fact.
8. Decide if you’ll need a financial planner
If you believe your net worth is too small to justify a financial planner right now, you may change your mind when you receive a large inheritance. But you don’t have to wait until the inheritance arrives to at least consult a financial planner.
If you know the approximate size of your inheritance, paying for a meeting with a financial planner may be money well spent. The financial planner can help you to make decisions to both set up your current finances in anticipation of the inheritance, as well as to make intelligent decisions when it actually comes.
The financial planner may also provide ideas you may want to convey to your parents. They’re often unaware of strategies that will minimize inheritance taxes, or create a strategic plan for a more successful distribution of the estate.
In addition, if there may be questions surrounding the estate, perhaps involving the children of a previous or subsequent marriage, the financial planner may recommend consulting with an estate attorney.
The more you can do in advance, the less likely it is you’ll be blindsided when the inheritance arrives and the stakes are higher.
Read more: Are Certified Financial Planners Worth The Money?
9. Decide if you’ll need a trust
If you don’t have one now, receiving a large inheritance might make a trust advisable. It may even be completely necessary if the inheritance is particularly large, or if you yourself have children from a previous marriage.
A trust is a way to protect your assets, and to ensure the money is distributed as you wish upon your death.
Shawn Plummer, CEO of The Annuity Expert, explains further:
“You may need a trust if you want to specify how your assets will be distributed without a probate court getting involved. While a will can achieve a similar purpose, wills have to be authenticated by a probate court and can require more time and money.”
Just as important, a trust has the potential to protect your assets from seizure by creditors, or from litigation. With the larger personal estate the inheritance will create, you may need just that kind of protection.
And don’t worry, you won’t need to pay an arm and a leg to get these documents drawn up. Trust & Will offers estate planning help with plans starting at just $39. This can help you avoid racking up a high bill with an estate planner.
Summary
You’ve probably known of situations where someone came into a large windfall, only to be broke a few short years later. Unfortunately, it’s not an uncommon outcome.
The sudden arrival of a large amount of money can cause an unprepared recipient to blow what could be a life-changing opportunity. It could have the potential to dramatically improve your finances and your life.
You’ll need a plan to make that happen, and it’s never too early to start drawing one up.
Wealth isn’t always the key to a prosperous or peaceful life. Money doesn’t always answer all things – ask Tony Stark. Rich people suffer, too. It’s like they say, more money, more problems. Many movies have done an excellent job of portraying this.
Sometimes, it helps struggling upper-class members to know they are not alone. It also shows lower-class folks that not all that glitters is gold; the higher you go, the higher the chances of falling.
More than that, it helps inform society that everyone, regardless of their socioeconomic class, is more than what meets the eye. These are some famous instances.
1. Triangle of Sadness (2022)
Triangle of Sadness is a film directed by Ruben Östlund and released in 2021. The film, a satirical commentary on the fashion industry and its exploitative nature, garnered positive reviews.
1. Triangle of Sadness (2022)
The movie targets and simultaneously turns the table from the rich, encouraging viewers to question societal norms and beauty standards and to seek fulfillment and happiness in more meaningful ways.
2. The Favorite (2018)
The Favorite is a 2018 period black comedy film co-produced and directed by Yorgos Lanthimos. It is set in Great Britain in the early 18th century and received widespread critical acclaim, with critics praising the cast’s performance.
Through Queen Anne, the movie presents a profound scope of how lonely the top can get. It also explores the themes of power, manipulation, and the relationships between women in a male-dominated society.
3. Blue Jasmine (2013)
Blue Jasmine is a 2013 American comedy-drama film written and directed by Woody Allen. It centers on a rich, now struggling woman who moves to her working-class sister’s apartment in San Francisco. Sometimes, tough times strike hard. Cate Blanchett was the film’s star and won several awards for her outstanding role.
4. Parasite (2019)
Parasite is a 2019 South Korean black comedy thriller directed by Bong Joon-ho. The film depicts a financially struggling family’s plan to secure employment with a wealthy household.
4. Parasite (2019)
To do this, they pose as accomplished individuals without apparent relation to one another, thus infiltrating the wealthy family deceitfully. Desperate times call for desperate measures, eh?
5. Force Majeure (2014)
Here’s another gem from Ruben Östlund. Force Majeure is an internationally co-produced black comedy film written and directed by Ruben Östlund.
5. Force Majeure (2014)
Marriage often requires one to choose between themselves and their partner. In this film, a man prioritizes his safety over his family’s during an avalanche. His marriage suffers the brunt of his decision. Even though they are financially stable, the marriage suffers as any other would when a partner puts themselves first.
6. Ready or Not (2019)
Nope, not the song or the video game. This is a 2019 American black comedy horror film directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett.
6. Ready or Not (2019)
The story’s plot revolves around Grace, a recently married woman targeted by her spouse’s Satan-worshipping family on her wedding night. Usually, newly married couples look forward to the wedding night so they can – you know. But most wealthy people have weird fetishes, and Grace finds herself entangled with them.
7. The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)
The Talented Mr. Ripley is a 1999 American psychological thriller written and directed by Anthony Minghella. It is based on Patricia Highsmith’s 1955 novel of the same name.
7. The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)
It garnered wild critical acclaim and featured prominent actors Matt Damon, Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, Cate Blanchett, and Philip Seymour Hoffman. Time called it a “devious twist on the Patricia Highsmith crime novel.”
8. The Menu (2022)
The Menu is a 2022 American comedy horror film directed by Mark Mylod, based on an original story created by Will Tracy.
8. The Menu (2022)
In the movie, a group of highly wealthy individuals receives an invitation to an extravagant multi-course dinner at a restaurant on a remote island, where the chef has prepared a lavish menu. But not all that glitters is gold, and things get fiery.
9. The Edge (1997)
The Edge is a 1997 thriller directed by Lee Tamahori. According to internet sources, the plot follows wealthy businessman Charles Morse, photographer Bob Green, and assistant Stephen. They must trek through the elements and try to survive after their plane crashes down in the Alaskan wilderness, all while being hunted by a large Kodiak bear and the men’s fraying friendships.
10. Assault on Wall Street (2013)
Assault on Wall Street is a thriller starring Dominic Purcell, Erin Karpluk, Edward Furlong, and Keith David. In a time of financial crisis, a man must care for his sick wife and pay for the medical bills. And so, he takes extreme measures to survive the trying times.
A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do, huh?
Source: Reddit.
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We financial planners and financial writers love to trot out hypothetical illustrations along the lines of “If you save 20% of your income starting at age 40, you’ll be able to retire by your late 60s, assuming an 8% rate of return” — a scenario I wrote about in March. While such projections are necessary for planning for the future, the truth is that they will most definitely be wrong once the future rolls around. There are just too many unknowable variables, such as future investment returns, inflation rates, and tax rates.
However, the unknowable unknowns aren’t just limited to economic variables, as readers often remind me after I write such an article. Here’s a tale a GRS reader told in the comments section after my March post:
In 1996 I had $78,000 in retirement funds and was 32 years old (hubby was 38). Then our home was flooded because a contractor doing a city project made a mistake. While struggling with being unable to live in the house, I was diagnosed with cancer and needed surgery ([we had] no insurance). Within a year I had cashed out the $78,000 to begin rebuilding the house and pay for surgery (we recouped a very small portion of the loss from the contractor). We sold the house and walked away with $11,000 to our name. That was in 1998.
We’ve tried to get back on track, but every time I save, something happens to eat it up: chronic illness, cost of experimental medication, hurricane and tornado damage to home over three years (part not covered by insurance), and more. Life lesson for us: Continue to save because it’s the responsible thing to do. Plan for the future, but be prepared for something to get in the way of those plans.
A sad story with an important lesson: Along your road to retirement, you may encounter speed bumps, fender-benders, road blocks, and perhaps outright tragedies. While many will be unpreventable, the financial fallout can be mitigated.
In this post, we discuss the most common causes of financial derailment, and what you can do to keep your plan on course. While many of the solutions are specific to each particular risk, there’s one line of defense that will protect your financial empire regardless of the method of assault, and that is a big, fat emergency fund. You’ve heard it before, but we’ll say it again: Have three to six months’ worth of living expenses in cash, ready to be deployed when the possible becomes the present.
Illnesses and Accidents Health problems are expensive and can impair a person’s ability to earn a paycheck. They can also force older Americans into retirement earlier than planned. Studies indicate that as many as 45% of current retirees quit work due to health problems or disability. The haleness and heartiness of a household’s breadwinner(s) aren’t the only factor; the health problems of other relatives, such as children or elderly relatives, can consume savings and impede a career.
Your defense As the sad tale of the above GRS reader shows, being diagnosed with a serious disease while lacking health insurance can lead to financial disaster. Being properly insured is an absolute necessity. However, no insurance policy covers all procedures and all costs. Reduce the burden of out-of-pocket expenses by participating in your employer’s flexible-spending plan, if offered, which allows you to set aside money for qualified health-care expenses. The money you contribute is not subject to income or payroll taxes.
The decision to acquire disability insurance, which replaces your paycheck in case you’re unable to work, is not as clear-cut. You already have some coverage through Social Security, though the definition of disability is very stringent. You may also have coverage through your employer. If you decide to purchase disability insurance for yourself, you’ll find that it can be expensive and complicated. However, the more your job requires that you be in good physical shape (e.g., traveling, meeting with clients, holding a scalpel, violin, or other tool), the more you should consider disability insurance. Many employers, professional associations, and other groups offer group disability policies, which can be less expensive and easier to qualify for.
Finally, one of the best ways to keep health-care costs down is to be healthy. As much as 70% of health-care costs are due to lifestyle choices — eating too much, moving too little, and putting things in our mouths that smoke, impair, or bear no resemblance to anything in nature.
Job Loss Once the boss stops sending a paycheck, either due to a layoff or company collapse, contributions to the 401(k) also stop. Depending on the person’s employment prospects, it may also be just a matter of time before debt piles up or the nest egg is cracked to cover living expenses. It’s a recipe for a delayed retirement.
But it’s not only the unemployed who find it harder to save for retirement. These days, income insecurity also takes the form of stagnant or reduced wages, while the costs of many goods and services keep rising. In many cases, the first item in the budget that gets sacrificed is contributions to the 401(k) or IRA.
Your defense Strengthening and expanding human capital is one of the most under-appreciated concepts in financial planning. To shore up your ability to turn your talents into dollars, develop multiple skills, stay on top of the trends in your company and its industry, and become crucial to your employer or, if you’re self-employed, your customers.
Loss of a Spouse Whether through death or divorce, the loss of a spouse can be emotionally and financially devastating. Most married household finances are built on two incomes, or one income and one spouse who does a lot of work that otherwise would cost money (e.g., raising kids). Then there’s the division of labor; it’s common for one spouse to handle all the bills or one to handle all the investing, with the other spouse being fairly ignorant of what’s going on. A death or divorce can leave a spouse on her or his own, often getting by on less income and having to assume all the financial housework.
Your defense If the death of a spouse would lead to significant financial hardship, then that spouse should have life insurance. Also, don’t be in the dark about important aspects of financial planning; each spouse has to at least know enough to step in during an emergency. One subscriber to my newsletter (a man who handles most of the financial duties in his household) annually updates a document he calls “A Letter From Your Dead Husband,” which explains the family finances to his wife in the case of his untimely demise.
As for divorce, it’s not very romantic to plan for your marriage’s dissolution. But if your matrimony is full of acrimony, begin by protecting yourself while still being fair to your spouse. If you’re engaged, a prenuptial agreement can be a delicate topic but a good idea, especially if there are kids from previous relationships.
Natural Disaster The tsunamis in Japan and tornadoes throughout America demonstrate that Mother Nature is a risk to everyone’s financial plan.
Your defense Have enough homeowners or renters insurance, with an insurer that has a record of honoring legitimate claims. Inventory all your possessions, with proof of ownership for big-ticket items, so you can substantiate your claims if necessary. Keep copies in several places, including in a fireproof safe or safety deposit box, along with other valuable items so that they’ll have some extra protection from the elements (as well as thieves).
Kids It costs $260,700 to raise a kid until age 17, according to the Department of Agriculture (because there’s little difference between a cow and a kid). And that doesn’t factor in college costs. Yes, children are their own form of natural disaster, at least when it comes to money. (Don’t get me started on the hair loss.)
Your defense Scientists are working on a cure. In the meantime, enjoy all the non-financial benefits of reproducing or adopting. Such as an excuse to play Candyland and Chutes & Ladder, again… and again… and again.
If you die without naming a beneficiary for your 401(k) account, the rules for your retirement plan will likely require that funds in the account be considered part of your estate and have to go through probate. The probate process is governed by state laws that vary significantly, but can often add considerable cost and delay to settling your estate. You can avoid this by naming beneficiaries, including both primary and secondary ones, and reviewing your selections periodically or when major life events occur. You can plan your estate with the help of a financial advisor.
401(k) Beneficiaries
A 401(k) plan is a tax-advantaged way to save for retirement that many employers offer as a benefit. Plans often allow you to select how funds in the account will be invested, and all allow and encourage if not require you to name one or more beneficiaries.
The beneficiary can be almost anyone you want to be able to control and benefit from the assets in your 401(k) plan after your death. A beneficiary can be a person, such as a spouse or child, as well as a nonprofit charity, religious or educational institution or even a business or other legal entity.
Typically, 401(k) plans will ask you to name beneficiaries when you open these accounts. If you don’t, your plan may remind you from time to do this. It is to your benefit to do so because it enables easy and cost-free transfer of control of assets after your death.
Naming a beneficiary or beneficiaries helps ensure your assets will quickly and efficiently go to provide for family members or support favorite causes. When you name a beneficiary to your 401(k), that person or entity acquires a partial right of ownership to the account. On your death, that partial right becomes full ownership.
This process generally happens automatically on your death. One possible exception occurs when you name a beneficiary other than your spouse. In that case, some plans may require a letter of approval from your spouse before another beneficiary can take control of the account.
A beneficiary has a strong position when it comes to taking control of assets naming that person as beneficiary. For instance, if your will directs an asset to one person while the asset account lists another person as beneficiary, the account goes to the one named on the account, not the one named in the will.
You can name multiple beneficiaries, splitting assets in the accounts in any way you like. You can also name backup beneficiaries in case the person or persons named aren’t able or willing to take control of the 401(k). It’s a good idea to review the beneficiaries you have named from time to time or after major life events such as marriage, divorce or birth of a child, and possibly update them. Otherwise, you run the risk of someone such as an ex-spouse receiving assets you would rather direct elsewhere.
401(k) Without Beneficiaries
If you don’t name anyone as beneficiary to your 401(k), what happens to the assets in the account is determined by the rules on default beneficiaries set out in the documents controlling your retirement plan. These vary depending on the plan, but usually the spouse is the first default beneficiary, followed by any children and, finally, your estate.
If the default beneficiary comes into play, the process is different than if you had named a beneficiary. A named beneficiary gains control of the 401(k) automatically on your death without any delay or cost. However, a default beneficiary can take ownership of the account it generally will have to go through probate.
Probate is an estate-settlement process governed by state laws that vary widely. Sometimes probate can take years to complete and require paying significant fees and other costs. While this is going on, assets in your estate may be frozen so your surviving family members can’t access them.
A person named as beneficiary to your 401(k) may, at their option, be able to roll over the assets in to an IRA. This can help reduce taxes, among other advantages. However, if you don’t name a beneficiary and the plan directs the assets to a default beneficiary, a rollover may not be possible. That can lead the default beneficiary to have to pay more taxes on the transfer than otherwise.
Bottom Line
If you don’t name a beneficiary for your 401(k) plan, your plan’s rules will likely direct the assets to a default beneficiary, such as your spouse or children. Before a default beneficiary can gain control of the account, however, it will likely have to go through probate, adding time and cost to the process of settling your estate. You can avoid this by naming one or more beneficiaries, as well as backup beneficiaries, either when you establish the account or later on.
Retirement Tips for Beginners
You can get help saving for retirement from a financial advisor. SmartAsset’s free tool matches you with up to three vetted financial advisors who serve your area, and you can have a free introductory call with your advisor matches to decide which one you feel is right for you. If you’re ready to find an advisor who can help you achieve your financial goals, get started now.
SmartAsset’s Retirement Calculator can help you turn a few data points including your location, age, income, current savings and amount and frequency of future contributions, into a forecast of how much money you’ll have when you are ready to retire.
Mark Henricks
Mark Henricks has reported on personal finance, investing, retirement, entrepreneurship and other topics for more than 30 years. His freelance byline has appeared on CNBC.com and in The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, The Washington Post, Kiplinger’s Personal Finance and other leading publications. Mark has written books including, “Not Just A Living: The Complete Guide to Creating a Business That Gives You A Life.” His favorite reporting is the kind that helps ordinary people increase their personal wealth and life satisfaction. A graduate of the University of Texas journalism program, he lives in Austin, Texas. In his spare time he enjoys reading, volunteering, performing in an acoustic music duo, whitewater kayaking, wilderness backpacking and competing in triathlons.
Infidelity is always devastating. But if your spouse or partner has been cheating on you by hiding pricey vices or illicit spending sprees, the consequences can be far worse than an affair, for the simple reason that money — often large sums of money — are involved.
As one reader wrote to us, after a similar article ran on on DailyWorth:
My ex took out a credit card in my name and ran up $40,000 debt without my knowledge. Now I’m paying it off. I asked the credit card company to investigate the matter as fraud, but they didn’t. It doesn’t seem like I have many rights. As I found out, there were many secrets behind the numbers. Right now, I’m waiting for the divorce to come through.
Although incidents of identity theft and fraud are well-documented — and can be prosecuted — spouses who are the victims of their lying, cheating partners often have little recourse. As another woman wrote:
I just checked my credit report, and found out that my husband ran up $18,000 on one of our cards — when I thought we only owed $400. I confronted him, and he admitted it, but now what? He doesn’t have the money to pay it back.
To recover from financial infidelity, you need a two-pronged strategy. You need to shore up the non-financial side of your relationship and, at the same time, tackle the actual money mess.
The Mess
The first step is to find out where the money went and how much is owed, says credit expert Erica Sandberg, a columnist for Creditcards.com. Your credit report contains a list of all open accounts; ask your mate to show you all statements. In addition, your mate may have accounts opened in his or her name. These would show up only on their credit report, so ask them to come clean.
As you examine the statements, what you discover may be shocking. Your spouse wasn’t just deceiving you about debt; it’s likely that he or she was hiding habits (perhaps even vices) that cost a pretty penny.
To clean up the mess, you’ve got two main tasks:
Your mate’s secret spending has to stop (and the habit itself addressed).
The debt has to be repaid.
So, the second step is to make a debt repayment plan. While you may not feel that the debt is your problem, until it’s cleared up (or you split up, if that’s the case) it will affect you. First, have your mate sell any purchases they bought when they were cheating, and put that money toward the debt. Insist that they get a part-time job or work overtime.
Next, depending on the extent of what’s owed, credit counseling may be in order. (Two reliable sources for credit counseling are the National Foundation for Credit Counseling and the Association of Independent Consumer Credit Counseling Agencies.) At worst, you may need to consider bankruptcy.
Otherwise, create a budget, reduce spending, apply all excess funds to the debt, and stop charging until the balance is at zero!
The Marriage
As you address the financial problems, talk. Your partner’s financial infidelity is a red flag that you two are out of sync — and not just about money. Make time for regular discussions about the life you have and the life you want. As the great Russian writer and philosopher Leo Tolstoy once wrote, “What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.”
Piggymojo is a new saving site, where couples can set a goal (in this case to save enough to pay down your debt), and find new ways to talk about money.
You may also want to seek professional help. Few relationships can survive this kind of strain without counseling. If you’re both invested in staying together, then it’s worth spending some money on a therapist who can help you, especially if gambling or other addiction issues are involved.
Lastly, if your spouse has committed financial infidelity, you may need to take a long hard look at your own money habits and head-in-the-sand behavior. As one reader described her sister’s loss of nearly $120,000 thanks to her husband’s secret gambling problem:
The moral is, you can’t afford to become a passenger in your own finances. Looking back, my sister said there were so many warning signs. But because her husband said he was taking care of the bills and expenses — and she believed him — she didn’t know what was really going on until it was too late.